All right there
after you've finished flying the jet ch for the Children,
bring them back to the orphanage, then cut the lawn and water the plants.
All right, Miss Brownie.
All right, Gang. Now, keep your eye out of check, please.
Oh,
do you know how a jet works?
Of course. Sure. I know how a jet plane works.
And rocket ships and spaceships, how does a spaceship work?
A
spaceship? A spaceship?
Well, first, you've got to have a lot of space
and then you,
you want me to learn you how to spin the top.
How does a spaceship work
spaceship?
All you do is pull a string away. It goes,
say
anyone who has studied nuclear physics knows it engine operates according to
thermodynamic laws using a working fluid of liquid hydrogen as a propeller.
This is accelerated and expelled by a nuclear
enriched largely by the use of a visible U 235
isotope giving the necessary thrust to the interplanetary mission.
Do we make ourselves clear?
Sure. Just like I said,
all you do is pull a string and away. It goes like that,
that
change
the come.
Oh, it's that awful again.
Plus
how'd you get here?
I sneak, give me a truck.
What are you doing?
I'm drawing pictures of the spaceship so I can show it to the gang,
the spire.
What's your name? Horrible.
Where are you from?
The hideaway? The hideaway. That doesn't. I'm taking you down to see Dr
Wilson. Come on.
May I see your identification, please?
I am
Dr
Avila.
I want to see Dr
Wilson
just a moment.
Doctor Wilson's office, Miss Howe speaking
or will you send him in? Please?
Come in.
Beautiful, isn't it?
I think frightening is a better word.
Don't tell me you would like to spend your honeymoon on Mars.
I'll still settle for Niagara Falls. Dr
Oil is on his way in fine. I'm anxious to get the meeting started.
How about the newspapers? They're still insistent on a press release.
Tell them we're not ready yet
when you stop pushing me. Are you pushing me much more? I'm gonna hold off from
me.
Have you had enough?
Where's the doc in the conference room? Well, call him up. Tell him I caught a spy.
His name's Orville Orville.
You mean Dr
or Vla?
He isn't a spy. Dr
Wilson's been waiting for you
for me. Yes, he didn't want to start the meeting without you doctor.
I'm h
I'm not doctor.
I know you're listed in, who's, who is a professor of aeronautical science?
Lester, would you please tell Dr Wilson that Dr
Orville is here. All right.
But someone's making a terrible mistake.
Professor of aeronautical science.
What makes a balloon go up?
How,
what's keeping you down?
Hey,
who are you?
I am Doctor Ove.
Oh,
that's all right. Wait a minute
for your information.
I just left Doctor OVI in Doctor Wilson's office and for your information.
I'm Doctor V is standing right here.
Wait, I just left Doctor OVI. He's short, fat and dumb.
I am a doctor ov.
If the only people that is as dumb as you, wait, we let Doctor Wilson decide that.
Come on,
I walk by myself.
Doctor Wilson will be right in
there.
There's
Dr
Avila. How dare you tell the people? You're Dr
Avila. I didn't tell him. They told me you told a bigger lie. I didn't tell a lie.
I didn't tell a lie. I'm one.
See, oh,
you don't even know how to say the name.
The name is Avila.
No or
I used to quiet pots.
You mind the whole of this, please? No,
sir.
The name is
Avila.
Now I don't go for that kind of stuff.
I've cut it out.
My name is Arvi
Cinnamon.
John.
I'm gonna give you a bucket.
The name is Avila.
Now you hold that. Now you cut it off, slapping me in the face like that.
My name is Orville.
You're making me losing my temperature.
The name is
Avila.
How you all that? Now, I'm getting sick and tired of that. Stuff.
Let Dr
Wilson decide.
And the one who isn't Dr
or Villa
is going to go to jail for a long, long time. I'm a Villa.
How can it feel? Bill? You're even a speaker like me.
I think I even speak a veteran of you. No mock of me. Who's a mocking of you?
Sleep
here. None of that. None of that.
Dr
Avila.
I don't know how this happened, but I want to apologize, not to mention it.
That's all right.
Take it to some
pasta, this
pasta.
Take him to the house of jail. No, she don't.
Anyone, she's gonna go to jail is gonna be you n
ma
me. I don't think we should put him in jail. He hasn't done any harm.
He saw the spaceship. That's too bad.
Now that it's completed, I'd hate to have the news leak out.
I won't tell anyone.
I think we better keep you with us. At least for the time being
Lester will take good care of you. I'll take care of him. Doc this way, Dr
Avila.
You little part of
you.
Oh, no, you don't.
Here I go again.
Good morning, gentlemen. Morning.
You all know
Dr Ovilla.
How do you
know?
Won't you be seated, please?
I appreciate the fact that some of you have traveled a great distance to be here.
And I'm very happy to say that after years of research and effort,
our project has finally reached a state of completion.
The spaceship is ready to fly.
And
Dr Wilson to say if it wasn't for the matter, we put a few supplies on a board.
She couldn't be launch it today.
The problems that confront us now are the choice
of destination and the selection of a crew.
Since all of us are eminently qualified to be observers.
I suggest that a crew be selected by drawing lots.
Gentlemen,
the moon is the closest of all astronomical bodies.
But due to its proximity,
there's a wealth of detail visible through powerful
telescopes within our fuel range are the planets Venus
and Mars.
One of these should be our destination.
Each of you gentlemen have before you a sheet of paper
on which you will write the choice of your destination
and a brief explanation of why you've chosen this particular plan.
Oh,
help me unload the truck.
Ok.
Why did you take a box from up there? Well, this here one was closer. Oh, give me a hand.
Now.
Get on board,
get on board. All right,
I'll hand you this box.
Go on, get up there.
Get a hold of it.
If there's anything else I want you to do, I'll do it myself.
What happened to the meeting?
We selected our crew
and I suppose you were among the lucky ones.
I built the ship Janie
and you wouldn't ask anyone to do anything. You wouldn't do yourself.
Where do we go from here,
Mars?
When are you going
as soon as we get all our supplies aboard.
Hey, what are they? Football uniforms?
They're not, they're spacesuits.
Hey,
don't it look like a piece of bubble gum?
Now, put that back,
the doctor and his crew are going to need
those when they get up where there's no oxygen,
didn't I tell you not to wear those helmets?
I take it off as soon as my back is turned, you put them on
now. You're a fine friend. You won't let me put it on, but you put it on.
So away those books,
I
got to
go
on
bad
way.
Yeah, those shoes are heavy. Certainly.
The gravity plates on the soles of those boots are magnetized now stow them away
now stow them away
away.
I told you to stow those boots away. I thought you said throw them away.
Yeah.
Oh, Doctor Woodson,
let me help you.
Thank you. You're welcome.
Well, how's it going? Lester everything's loaded dot Ready to take off.
Would you mind helping me check the control panel? Oh, sure.
Fuel, fuel.
Ok.
Oxygen,
oxygen.
Ok.
Interplanetary communicator.
Anything.
Oxygen.
Ok. Excuse me.
Now, here comes the crew. I'm going to bring him aboard for a final check. Tell
Dr W
is there anything else I can do? I'm afraid not.
Or this kind of work requires a high IQ what high IQ high IQ.
Let me, let me help you.
That's all right. Thank you.
Hey,
this doctor Wilson. He, he's pretty good at going up and
got
it.
Bye.
Hey, ll
what?
The duck?
You forgot to check this one right
off
there. Doctor
Wilson, look,
touch these switches.
Hey,
what are you? What are your,
this is disastrous? Hey, come on, buck. You're not gonna do this.
What are you gonna do? Contact Lester by short wave and tell him how
I
am.
Hey,
what happened?
Must have been,
it's a lucky thing for us. Boy that you didn't press the right button.
You don't launch us in the space.
We better get out of here before something happens.
Yeah.
OK.
I don't want to go to the moon. I
on the green cheese. I go to the tell a contestant
we're not going to the moon. We're heading for Mars
Ka
5749. Calling rocketship M one rocket ship M one come in over.
It's no use.
I don't suppose either one of them knows how to operate a radio and what
will happen to them unless they accidentally
enter a gravitational sphere of another planet.
They may just drift around in space forever
calling it experimental laboratory.
Calling experimental laboratory
up in the air. How do we get down
over,
over with?
Yeah.
Call me experimental laboratory. Come in.
Over.
Come, it all come in. It's gonna be all over.
Wait, right.
Come
to
this.
When you get in that scene
K 5749 calling Rocketship M one rocket ship M one. Come in over
pull the experimental laboratory,
pulling experimental laboratory. Get me down with you.
I want to collect my social security.
You can't collect your social security until you're 65. I just aged 30 years.
I
pay less.
Look,
look less.
The thing is, bro,
I'm going to get out of here. I'm not,
I'm trying to find out
how.
Ok.
Here we go again.
Yeah,
2050 cents.
What more
we're going through the Lincoln Tunnel.
Ok.
This is really hot today. What's with you
instantly hitting those ends with,
I just saw a rocket ship come out of the Lincoln tunnel. Brother. You had enough.
We interrupt the ball game to announce that a
rocket ship just flew through the Lincoln Tunnel.
You hear that? See
that
and
the next time you come so close to the ground, I'm going to get out.
Ladies and gentlemen, our mayor has asked that we all remain calm in this emergency.
Everything possible will be done to protect you
on orders from Washington.
The commander of Strategic Defense has alerted all branches of the service.
This is not the usual flying source of scare.
This unidentified aircraft was seen by thousands
as it flew through the Lincoln Tunnel.
If they're not careful, they're going to have accident.
Anyone signing a strange aircraft phone,
your nearest branch of civilian air defense.
What are we going to do now?
We either go to Mars or get shot down.
So we'll go to Mars,
we'll go to Mars.
Oh,
she's expecting.
So we're seeing,
hear this, hear this
attention. All pilots concentrate on air, sir.
Navy will cover land and sea.
Ok.
How are you going to know when we hit Mars? How do I know
the whole thing wouldn't have happened? But don't
push those buttons.
Don't touch them again.
Hey, what's this one for
the unidentified aircraft?
Which terrified New Yorkers is now definitely known to
have landed in an isolated region near New Orleans.
They're rushing the militia to the location.
You'd better call Washington and identify your ship.
What they made the laughing stock of the world for
letting a couple of nut wits steal my ship.
Well, so far they don't do no harm.
The excitement they have caused may arouse our people from
their lethargy and show them the need for civilian defense.
Jamie. Give me plane reservations for New Orleans.
Let's stop.
Don't ever leave me alone, Paul.
Do you realize that we are the first persons to land on Mars?
Hey,
I hereby claim Mars in the name of the United States of America.
Me too.
Ah,
grapes,
the grapes.
Hey,
no,
don't take that off.
Mars might be just like the moon. No atmosphere.
And without oxygen you could drop dead.
You turn around
just as I thought you big dope. You forgot to turn on your oxygen generator.
Hey,
suppose my tank. It gets empty.
Then you have donated your life to the advancement of science. No, sir. Not me.
I'm not gonna donate anything like that that I can't deduct from my income tax.
I don't hear no sound of them. Prison screws. It looks like we lost them.
Yeah,
I think we lost ourselves doing it.
Hey, go find out what made that noise.
You go
now, wait a minute, didn't you tell me not to leave you alone?
Yeah. Well, if I go, you'll be here all alone.
That's right. I never thought of that.
Mars,
a
zebra without any tail.
Hey,
maybe Mars is only inhabited by animals. Let's look around
it.
Well, I see
them guys are dressed for the Mardi Gras. They sure must have got loaded.
They were a long way from Canal Street.
I wish we were on Canal Street. Maybe we could get some clothes.
Come on, we'll find some.
I am with you.
What's that?
If I didn't see with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it. Well,
what is it? Are you kidding? That's a spaceship.
Them guys went from the Mardi Gras.
They're from Mars
who watch Mars is there west near Hoboken. What's Mars? Mars is a planet?
The planet is a thing that goes revolving around in space.
How do you get up there?
Well, it all depends on whether you subscribe to the Laplace
theory of 1796 or whether you subscribe to
the tidal theory formulated by somebody in 1919.
Gee, it must be wonderful to have education.
Hey,
you don't suppose maybe they got any clothes on board with us still. Do you?
For the first time since I know you, you are showing a gleaming of intelligence.
I am with you.
Hey,
I thought you told me things on Mars was different.
Their houses are the same as ours. Alice.
We've got to find the boss man. Let them know who we are.
Walk there and find out where he is.
Go ahead.
You can
take a look up there. Did you find out? Take a look.
Hey,
there's a girl. Go home and talk to her. Should I? Oh, go ahead. She won't hurt you.
I'll ask somebody else.
Good morning.
Oh,
good morning. Will you not join me in a cup of coffee?
You speak English up here? Of course, we all speak English.
Your costume is wonderful.
Are you going to join us in our party? In honor of Rex? Who's Rex?
Rex is king
the king. He's a man. I want to see.
They will be, be called.
But if I cannot see good, I will leave my head.
A
if I cannot see that way,
I will turn my head.
Choose,
choose. Complete.
The glass of wine is faint.
Click that
for
all right. Take it easy. Hey, lash,
what?
You talk to that girl over there and her head
goes higher and then you talk to her again and
yep. Her head goes sideways. Oh, that's ridiculous.
Nobody can do that with her head. I saw it myself. Drink of wine.
It will make you feel better. Don't give him any wine, makes his head go round.
Mine too
little mad. Shall we dance?
You better. Go ahead and dance with her.
It will help promote our diplomatic relations. Why don't you dance with her?
What set our relations back? 15 years?
Ok.
How do I share?
May I have the stand
and
be my guest? No, thanks. I don't care to guess.
But any of your relations I got my own over here.
That domestic.
No, you did get us in trouble. Let's get out of here.
Hey, Margie,
you gotta wear these suits. You know, this thing don't do nothing for my figure.
I would like to ask you one simple question.
How many states are you wanted in?
How many are there?
48? That's how many that just proves my point. You ain't safe in this country.
You know what you're gonna do? You're gonna leave it.
It's as simple as all that where we're going,
we're going to hijack this rocket ship and make them take us to Mars.
Is there any coppers up there? Not that I ever read about.
I'm with you. First of all, we got to get some walking around town money.
Where are we going to get it?
We heist a bank and these clothes didn't I tell you it's Mardi Gras
and all the citizens are walking around in funny looking costumes.
We just walk in and the cops won't even give us a Rambo.
So, what are we going to use for rats?
This popcorn isn't any good.
Hey, get a load of this.
Did I do that?
Sure.
It's a ray gun.
It shoots paralysis. Ray,
you hit a fink with one of them and you're
stuffing them out like a plank momentarily later on,
he comes out of it and he's all right again.
Flash Gordon uses one of them.
Yeah. What mob does he run with?
He ain't with no mob.
You see them in the comic strips all the time.
Oh,
come on, let's put on our helmets.
We want to be back here before the Martians return.
You're in a strange country. So watch your step.
Look around.
I can always,
what's the matter?
I'm stuck? I told you those shoes were magnetized.
Oh,
come on, get up.
You have,
allow me.
Can I help you, sir? This is a stick up hand over all the big bills for a minute.
I thought you were serious but I am serious.
Start sacking up the loot
my dear fellow. If you think you can frighten me with a toy pistol.
Don't give us no trouble. God.
But
ok, Harry, let's get the cash.
This is all we can carry.
Let's get going.
Thanks pal.
It looks quiet enough to me. But
they must be having their afternoon CIA.
Hey, groan.
What happened?
Grow
it.
Yeah,
he's stepping in a new pool
and he don't even drink.
What happened to them.
Find out
what happened here, buddy,
buddy,
Pony.
What happened there?
We, we, we wait, we wait, we was invaded, invaded by who? By two men from Mars?
The space
suits and everything. Just like you see in the front of paper.
If you don't believe me, I'm Mr Lucas.
What you do, Miss Francis
is y'all all right,
Mr Lucas,
what happened?
But what's this about two men from Mars? The bank was held up by two men in spacesuits.
You call headquarters, I can give a good description.
Let me place that quarters
headquarters Hartmann reporting
the State Bank was just held up by two men from Mars wearing spacesuits.
No, I'm not talking from a bar. I'm in the bank. Ok.
I got it all down so far, but I don't believe it. Men from Mars in spacesuits
say was there anyone hurt?
Was anybody hurt?
No, they shot us all with Reagan,
please, Mr I can't tell him that.
Well, that's exactly what happened and I think it should be reported at once.
Everybody was shot with a ray gun, ray gun. Get out of that fire.
You you Jim Guzzling whiskey swinging rum.
Hey,
now that we're here,
how am I going to eat with this fish bowl on my head?
The Limburger is excellent. Today. That's just what I like
a way to
have. You got atmosphere here.
If it is on the menu we have it now is the air here the same as on earth.
Air is the same as any place in the country. I get a menu.
Well, go ahead, take the helmet off. Let's see what happens.
Hey,
that, that, that, that strong atmosphere around here.
Are you sure we didn't land on the moon? Certainly not.
Didn't you say the moon was made out of green cheese? This is no rose garden. I smell.
Oh Ignore the atmosphere. We don't want to antagonize these Martians.
Take off your helmet. We've got to eat. No,
take it off.
How was the libe?
Oh, it was excellent. Thank you.
Here you are gentlemen. Our food is out of this world. So the atmosphere.
Give me one of your native dishes and a little wine. What will you have?
Bring me some cloth?
Uh
What kind of wine?
A small bottle of
Moselle bordeaux
and chant.
What would you like to have me? Open,
open your window,
the window.
How do you like this one?
It uh it doesn't do enough for you.
It doesn't have enough chick like they say in French.
That's what you get for trying to paddle merchandise. It's got no check.
Hey, I like this one. Now you got some class.
You look like the warden.
That's the nicest thing you said to me all day.
Well, let us get the loot and be on our very way. I am with you.
This year's attendance has broken all Mardi Gras records. The Crescent city.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we interrupt this program for our bulletin from the police department.
Two men believed by the police to be the interspace travelers who
created such havoc in New York and for whom the militia is searching
are spreading a rain of terror in the city streets.
According to the police,
these men are dressed in green pressure suits and are wearing transparent helmets.
I'll repeat the description.
These men are dressed in green pressure
suits and are wearing transparent plastic helmets.
All police officers are under orders to shoot on sight.
Hey,
they should be easy to find if they're wearing
green suits like this in a plastic helmet.
Hey, that's us.
You are the bank robber.
Sweet.
That's it.
I
hold of them. I'll meet you at the spaceship.
Hold him.
I
with all the militia busy searching for their spaceship and our police force
unable to cope with the crowds that are here for the Mardi Gras.
Our mayor has asked that the citizens join in a house to house search.
We,
is there anything wrong
officer? We're getting up a posse to run down those guys from Mars.
They held up a bank in a clothing store by my Harry.
You imagine that men breaking the law?
Yeah, that is disgusting. You had better get off the streets.
I concur a splendid suggestion. I think we should get out of town. I'm with you.
It beats me the minute we get the call that those guys are in the operation cafe.
We surrounded the block
and yet they disappeared.
Hey, you,
have you seen anything of two guys dressed in suits like they were from Mars?
You mean with the green space suits and plastic helmets?
That's them.
Sorry.
Didn't see them.
How did he know they had green space suits? Come on,
I
like that.
Well,
right.
Come on. Let's get back to the spaceship. Boy.
Am I glad to get away from those Mars people?
Hey,
it's a good thing. There was no water in there.
All right,
no trace of them yet.
I can't understand why even the militia has been
unable to locate that rocket ship of mine.
It's quite possible that your ship landed in one of
the bayou and is completely submerged in the water.
Those two criminals must have been lucky enough to escape.
I can't picture Lester Orville in the role of a desperate criminal.
Nor can I Lester's worked for me faithfully for five years and I checked on Orville.
He had a very good record at the asylum,
orphan Asylum or who just came from there two days ago.
Isn't a kid that's only been out of the orphanage for two days.
A little young to be flying a rocket ship. No, Orville's 3838.
When I put him in jail, remind me to give him his p
give me that gun. You swipe them guys may be rough.
Don't ever point a gun at nobody.
What are you worried about?
I never shot nobody by accident.
Stop fooling around with them instruments.
We'll wait for their Martians to come and let them run the ship.
They talk about fooling around.
They got any dames in this mass place. Naturally, they got dames.
I've seen pictures from there.
They got big heads,
four arms and wireless aerials growing out of their ears.
That don't sound very entrancing to me.
They don't sound no worse than some of them beagles. I've seen you keep an eye with,
need your space inside it to drive.
Come on,
hurry up the ladder.
Come on. Make it snappy. I want to close that trap
so they can't catch us.
Which one do you? Do?
You gotta touch one of these things?
What do you do? What are you doing? I just
out of the way
and take off those magnetized boots, put on your shoes.
Never mind that shows.
I told you to take off the boots and put on your shoes. You told me never mind the shoes.
I didn't say anything of the kind
put on your shoes. Ok.
Don't OK.
Promise everything.
Hey, who are you?
You are the first persons we've seen who look like human beings. So that's going to
you.
It's my turn now.
No, Reagan.
This one's clean too,
man. Let's get this rocket ship started and let's take off for Mars.
How can we take off from Mars? We're already on Mars.
How are you supposed to get up here?
I hate to say it back, but it is obvious to me that you have put your way.
Boy, are these guys screwy? They think that New Orleans is Mars. New Orleans.
Open up the
get started before my patience is tried honest, Mr,
we don't know how to operate this ship. Then. How did you get here?
All he did was push this button like that.
It wasn't that button.
What's the ceiling?
Well, what could have happened?
I don't know
how could they be stupid enough to take off again after they landed safely? Dr
w
hey,
what's up ball down there?
That the earth
boy?
I wish you boys at the Louisiana Penitentiary could look up and see me here.
I wish I could look down and see you there.
Or are you all that, Harry?
Take it easy, pudgy?
You know, the ship can travel much faster. We get rid of the excess weight,
get it.
I'm with you.
Have you verified your calculations?
Yes,
I checked Palomar and mcdonald Observatories, their findings agree with mine.
And according to your calculations,
the ship is about to escape the gravitational pull of the earth.
Its course from there will naturally be determined
by its proximity to the other planets.
The nearest planet would be Venus.
Yeah.
Good. Out of space.
There's no gravity left anymore
because you bought
them
for me.
Irish people.
35
f
worse.
Sometimes I don't feel so good.
Want,
come on now
we
grab
these shoes will keep you from falling. Like,
don't try to pull anything. You won't get away with it while I had this.
Oh, yeah.
24.
That,
I'm Harry.
How
shark
shoot?
are you going?
Don't tell
my daughter
to shoot
what I wanted for
shame.
Yeah.
Um
She thought
you color
all astronomical theories and Mr,
you just far from the Moor.
Welcome.
I know for puns
of
acceleration due
to
the
ground and
therefore we were in no danger.
Get him. Harry went back to normal.
Pull a trigger.
I guess that makes a monkey out of your repulsive exploitation
of your gravies
and
the high attitude is
all you
see.
Oh no, you don't.
Ok. Pudgy.
You're the boss man now, but when the chance comes,
I'm going to push you right off the planet Mars.
That's what you think.
As long as I have this thing, we're not going to Mars,
we're going back to Earth.
What
happened?
I would,
there's no doubt about it, Dr
Wilson at
this point. I can assure you your spaceship is about to land on Venus.
Amazing,
congratulations, doctor.
You've made a magnificent contribution to the history of science. Not me.
They did by accident. What I wanted to do on purpose
being a no move for conversation, but desirous of information.
Would it be asking too much if I requested to know our present locale,
Venus? I can't see your foot in front of me.
I'd say one in Los Angeles.
Well, I'd say it's lucky for us. If we landed on earth, we've run out of fuel.
Oh, get a cup.
We're going to fix you guys for getting us. Plain Polos. Rock
in New Orleans. Oh the God.
But I
should be one of those jet pilots
step on it and don't spare the atoms.
We must warn the queen. Our planet Venus has been invaded.
What kind of hot rod was that?
Hello? Yes, Captain Olivia flying. So
patrol XR two reporting a rocket ship model
RM has been sighted landing on our planet.
All patrols have been alerted. It must have come from the earth.
We described that model 20 years ago.
See that its occupants are captive and brought to me.
Yes. Allure
double the palace. God.
If our invaders should happen to be men, what does the man look like?
It's been so long. I've forgotten,
I haven't,
nor have I forgotten that my man was the lyingest
cheatings,
double crossings
male that ever inhabited Venus.
And so were all the rest of them
that happened 400 years ago?
They couldn't have changed.
They've captured one of the invaders right here in the palace.
What is it?
I could be wrong. But I think it's a man
that's a man as I remember, they look something like this.
Although this seems to be a pretty poor specimen,
Jerry check with the patrol of the space
phone and see if they've captured any others.
Yes.
Can I get up?
Go ahead.
Thank you.
He
looks were standing up than he did. Lined up.
Bow to the queen,
bow to the queen bow.
What do you want here?
I was looking for a policeman.
I didn't know this was a movement picture studio.
You're a bit confused. This is the planet Venus.
Oh,
no,
they were trying to kid me before.
When I was in New Orleans, they were trying to tell me that was Mars.
And now that I'm on Earth,
you're going to try to tell me that this is Venus
Ayesha beam, the visor screen.
That must be the earth. All right, Harry is still practicing as piano lists.
I want to tell you, I'm really mixed up around here. I'm mixed up all over.
All I've been doing is flying up and flying down and going sidewards and backwards
and, and it's getting so d I'm tired, I've got to sit down.
So the less you'll be of life,
she faded out 400 years ago when men were banished from our planet.
Could it be a sign that men are to return to us again?
Maybe it's an Omen, an Omen omen.
Oh, man.
Silence. All of you.
We have done well without men,
our science, art, medicine and culture, surpass that of any other civilization.
We have discovered the secret of eternal life. We live in tranquility.
Are we to destroy this by bringing men back?
But the celestial beam is crowned him king.
We want,
we want
to,
what can a king do that? A queen can't do
be the father of a large family.
All right,
if you wish it, you shall have a king.
You mean I'm going to be the king
in a way.
What is your name, man?
Ar
King? Or
if you'll step into the king's quarters, you'll find some of his old apparel.
Isn't it customary for a king to have a bodyguard
with you? I'm afraid the bodyguard would have to have a bodyguard.
Now run along and dress.
Yes, my queen.
And thank you, my royal subjects,
all of my royal subjects.
Another subject.
King Orville.
Yes, my queen.
Why if I millions of the law possess the feminine pulpit? Two that you girls do.
I would have no objections to incarceration in the Bastille.
If that is the same as being pinched by a broad
I am with you.
Don't any of you dare try to escape, don't worry, honey,
that would be like resisting an officer.
How do I look delightfully revolting?
Thank you.
Say about something neat.
Maybe. Could I get a nice steak? A broiled steak,
the preparation of food that way? Is outmoded.
Food, meals are much easier.
We had a till for everything.
Oh,
she's 400 years old.
A 400 year old kid.
Where did you capture them
in a spaceship?
And this one gave me quite a struggle. That is evident.
I must talk this over with the king.
He's the king.
Take them to the dungeon.
Ah My queen
just take them two to the dungeon.
Leave my pal Lester here
You Lester may remain with us.
Take the other two away.
Yes.
Aura ain't you gonna do nothing about this? Just a moment.
Ah, fair of flower of Venus. The sight of you makes my lips burn for your kisses.
It kindles the fires of love in my heart.
The flames sear my soul squirt the hose on him.
Put the fire out and put him in a dungeon.
Yes. O mighty king
queen of Laura.
I'd like to have you meet my pal list.
Are you kidding? Ouch.
If God God, God help
help,
it's my hand
now, you know who's boss?
Who's the boss?
You are?
Hey, just a minute.
Would you mind telling us why the queen put us in the pokey?
Yeah, we ain't even pulled a job here yet. Our queen distrusts all men 400 years ago.
She caught her consort kissing a handmaid.
She banished all men from our planet.
You mean there's all dames here and just us. Four men.
What a spot for a black market?
What a spot for me to be king.
Look,
if the queen banished one king for kissing a dame,
they figure she'll do the same thing to
o
you think them tights will fit you?
Listen, kid, here's what I want you to do.
I want you to get a hold of all the rest of the checks.
I must say. It's rather nice to have a man around the house again.
Are you married?
Engaged?
Have you a sweetheart?
Do you go around with anyone?
Leicester?
Are you married?
No,
I've been lonely for so long
if I could only trust you,
but with so many females, I fear the temptation would be too great.
Oh, you don't have to worry. I'll let you trust me.
Queen
Aura.
There's an interplanetary call for you on the
strato phone will tell them we're busy.
What did you say, Queen
Aura?
I'll place you on your honor.
Walk this way.
Hey, what are you doing?
Hold this. Let me sit down
King or
I'll stand for no trifling king.
Hold these. What are they?
Those of Venusian balloons developed in our laboratory of cybernetics.
They possess extra sensory perception.
Your slightest thought of a woman will be
transmitted to the balloon causing it to break.
Have no fear. I will think of another woman. See that you don't
or if I return and find one balloon broken, I'll know you've trifled
and I'll cast you from the planet and you'll drift in space forever. Just a minute.
Queen,
what did you say to her
beus and balloons?
The news are blue
girls go to your quarters.
You better watch your step or you're gonna be a gunner. You're right.
I don't want the queen to get mad at me.
Uh, uh,
give me those balloons. Now, you've got nothing to worry about. See,
give me the balloons back before the queen hurtles me through space.
I've got an idea.
Put this glove on, it'll break the contact. Are you sure
am? I sure don't. Electricians wear gloves to protect them from voltage.
You're right. Same thing. I'll put this in that hand, put it in that hand,
nothing can happen. I'll take a look at
it.
See nothing happens. It works. Certainly just, I'm going to kiss her.
Well,
I
mean, I'm the king. I don't want it. No, I'm the king. I don't want it.
I knew I should never trust a man
at the bons. Wh
you
dearly for this. It wasn't me. It was him honest.
I'll find out how honest you really are. Sit down,
what are you? I'm the king. Well, and show whos was
sit down.
This is also a machine of extra sensory perception
based on the principle of the positronic brain.
It's able to decipher between the true
and the false.
Well,
this is your type of a lie detector
I have nothing to worry about. I don't tell any lies.
Are you gonna ask me questions or serve me at a barbecue. I'm gonna find out the truth.
Sit down.
You are the queen. Sit down my
child.
What did you think of when that girl came to you?
Powering?
I'm burnt up.
Now. Look at queen. If you want to cook me, turn me over, I'm done on one side.
Sit down until I'm ready. I'm ready.
I'm ready.
This is a vicious queen queen of Spades, dirty door.
Must it be?
Did you kiss that girl?
Yes, I do.
When you kissed her, what did you think of?
I was thinking of you
guys
seize them,
refuel the ship and get them off this planet.
Have the
bra from the dungeon. They'll go. Also,
I want my
me and my constituents just had a caucus and I don't
think they're gonna go for your order of mail departure.
Just a minute.
A queenie.
I request that this delegation be polled silence
very well
before we put the matter to a vote
first. Look at these men
and I use the term loosely
and now see what men really look like.
Angelica.
Turn the visor screen to retrospect
the secretary of the interior.
The secretary of the Treasury
carry a war.
The king.
I,
he was,
you can turn it off. Now, Angelica,
I think I've proved my point.
The question is, do we keep these sad looking specimens or not
all those in favor of sending them back? Please signify by saying I
opposed.
No,
you're out of order. The eyes haven't meeting, adjourned.
The spaceship is refueled and ready to go
then get them aboard and speed their departure.
What queen?
If it wasn't for these, I'd still be king.
It's over. So let's not talk about
it. If you should happen to think of me, will you let me hear from you?
Oh, I'll keep my eye on you.
Thank you.
When I get down to earth,
I'm going to tell him down there how beautiful you and the girls are.
Thank you.
Take along a few samples of your.
No,
I'm sorry about the girl.
It could have happened to you. Ridiculous. I have no feeling for you or any other man
here. Get him out
too bad. I couldn't trust him.
He was such a cute little fellow.
You mean me queen?
Get out
from now on a curse on any woman who kisses a man.
She'll lose the secret of eternal youth
or Bill or Bill.
Please take me with you. Oh, I can't Lester would be mad at me.
Well, then kiss me goodbye.
Hey, I just kissed a girl and she turned into an old woman. Oh, that's ridiculous.
How did that happen? These Mauss
are very strange people. Maybe the queen put a curse on the girls.
Hey, if I kissed a girl on earth, would that happen to me again?
It's highly improbable. That's right.
Any time I ever kissed a girl, nothing ever happened.
And then I can believe,
get that seat.
Now, what's wrong
Captain
Ali, of Flying Saucer Patrol Xr Two? Speaking, what's delaying your take off over?
I don't know. It just won't take long
over
check for excess weight.
Roger.
Hey,
see if there's anything in those lockers that we
don't need everything in those lockers I need.
I'll do it myself.
Wonder we couldn't take off.
Get them out
of Saudi girls.
I'm awfully sorry I
anymore.
There
don't try.
Hey, some first aid
out. You
go,
come on
acres and acres of them
and all go to waste.
All right. Stand by
what's happening now.
They've taken off from Venus and are headed for Earth.
Is there anything you can do to help them
so far? They've done? All right, without my help.
Hey,
Pal, I think you burnt out a Berry
Jie order plane reservations. They're over New York now.
Play.
Ok.
You missed her.
I
captain.
Send in my regard.
Oh,
love has hit me again.
She crowned me again.