Crosby.
But
in a road to
you,
the Commonwealth of Australia land of many frontiers,
lone stepping stone across the vast Pacific to
the mysterious brooding islands of the Malayan archipelago,
last outpost of the art and culture of the western world.
Our story takes us to Melbourne.
Melbourne, birthplace of Nelly Melba,
the famous Coloratura
soprano Australia's gift to American opera
appearing here as a token of appreciation for Melbourne's glorious gift
are two distinguished concert artists steeped in
the tradition of America's classical music.
You ready for this?
Who's that? Coming down? The Thorough Fair.
The sun shine flashing on his ring,
bowing left and right and here and there your delight falls just floating.
That's just
the trombone came.
He gets his shirt straight from Paris cigarettes from the knife.
He talks like an eyebrow but he plays Chicago style. He gets his shoes made in London
and the real crocodile,
but he plays trombone Chicago style and he sometimes plays sweet.
Do do do
do, do, do,
do, do do but sweet or he's always got that real good bucket beat. He's got a
neat Latin mustache and the girls love his smile.
He plays trombone
Chicago style
a
trombone.
The
Chicago style
nylon mute. Huh?
Run out and had that fill.
Take it, twinkle toes. Got it. Helium Hips. This boy is diseased with brother
Verna. Is this the one daughter
you cover up? My partner's taps. They both proposed to me.
Well, Verna, we're both crazy about you. We've been fighting over you all week.
I won. Harold's gonna marry her.
Well, you see what I got lined up for you, boy, what is it? A dame?
What else would I line up for you?
What's wrong with her?
She's a doll. Shaley
Bell.
Cut it down to two encores. Let's move.
There he goes. One of my best pupils.
He had a tough time getting the lead out of his feet, but there he is.
I'll never forget we were down in before.
Don't bend the wardrobe. Is this the boat that popped the question.
Both of them did
Eunice Harold, darling. This is the happiest day of my life, Helen.
Why spoil it with a wedding?
But darling, I want to marry you.
Good
job.
Well,
fine. I'll be best man.
See you,
boy. If I got something cooked up for you, put it in the deep freeze.
Did the similar situation occur in Allentown in 47?
Thanks for the memory. Let's get out of here fast.
I
Chicago style
you
from
shot.
This will drive him crazy when it doesn't come back.
You.
I ain't gonna
wait,
boy. May not have his teeth in today.
Gentlemen, I've told you, there are no two actors traveling together on this train.
There's one of them
pilot the belly gunner bailing out,
man.
Ah,
you wouldn't listen to me, would you?
Let's stow away on a boat to Frisco. I said,
no, no. You said let's hop a rattler. You take the upper, you said I'll take the lower.
You had a sub blower. Besides look at the money. I saved you on tips. Boy.
Get plenty of fresh air. You said not me. I said, hide underneath.
You said they'll never find you. I said you're gonna ride inside. Keep an eye out.
I said, you know what kills me? What's the matter? You never listen to me.
That's what killed. Mean, where are we? Now? We're lost.
That's where we are.
Come on, we got some traveling to do on your feet, elbow nose. Come on here.
Drop that beak. The day I met you, there were vultures in the sky.
I should have taken that for an omen. Those were bluebirds. Now, stop worrying.
I'll get you out of this.
Look. Don't get me out of things. Stop getting me into things. Will you look Harold?
No.
Oh, I'll be darned French poodle. No, those are sheep. We're saved.
I don't trust you or the sheep. Don't you see Harold?
Whoever there's sheep, there's a farm, wherever, there's a farm,
there's a farmer and wherever there's a farmer, there's a farmer's daughter.
Now you're getting me into trouble again.
Let's walk. Don't run,
you know, for a couple of guys on the land. We're in pretty good company
where
we poor
little lambs who have lost
our.
Hey,
that was helpful, wasn't it?
Fred Waring must have played through here
the
J
boy. Am I tired of that? Whiff and poof song one more.
Whiff and, uh, pooh,
we may be dirty but we're healthy Every time they dip the sheep they dipped us.
Hey, why don't we stick with them? We may get cheered too.
I'm beginning to like it.
What have we here?
Those are for Argyle socks.
Oh, let's get out of here we go.
Ah, here we are. Here. We are
lot of attractive openings there for a fellow. If he likes work.
Who's next to closing. Yes,
this is for me. You can't cook. Well, I can learn while you wash the dishes, buddy.
Oh, no, no, I'll cook and you'll wash the dishes.
You can stack them behind your ears to dry. To see.
Here. That's your greens
right
here.
Come in,
scratch,
scratch. There goes the daily devil. What a pity.
Just when I was gonna let you have your way too.
Say I haven't looked for work since I was night watchman at Vassar.
That's before we were in the coffee
business. These electric razors, there's nothing like them.
Aristocrats take a mowing machine to get this hedge knocked off. Right.
A lamb or hiding?
Uh, hm.
How long can you hold your breath? Junior my breath.
Well, I, you,
oh,
Prince Ken, a
rock
back again, eh?
You must help me. I need sea divers again. Not a flaming chance. And you know it,
four divers shipped out to your island already
and never came back. Fine men too. But they met with accidents, accidents. My eye,
we all know about Bogo.
Bogota
is a legend.
then why don't you get your own people to dive?
If Bogota is only a blooming legend,
people of that two are superstitious and still believe in witchcraft.
It ain't no witchcraft and their men in.
Look here, Prince, you couldn't get any diver in Australia to take on your job.
Not for all the beer in Darwin.
Well, Buster looks like the briny deep for us up along upstairs.
Now, will you complete the necessary arrangements? Go along? Oh, why me?
Why don't you go up no elevator?
Remember you're a much younger man than I am.
Who isn't?
I'll be along now.
Excuse me, sir.
But are you a deep sea diver? Well, I'm just a graduate of UCW.
That's University of California underwater. Oh, an American.
Then perhaps you would be interested in a job that would bring you rich rewards.
Well, of course,
candidly rich rewards do remove a good deal of the dullness from the mere work,
I guess.
Yes, that's true. What's the pitch sunken treasure,
treasure?
Well, I'll have it up for you in a jiffy. I must tell you one thing though.
I don't do the actual diving myself. I have another boy for that.
I remain on deck and I operate the pump,
but excellent. Your hand.
Ok.
Yes, sir. I'll have that treasure up and two shakes of a lamb's tail.
And believe me, I know how to shake a lamb's tail.
There's one little thing I must explain.
You. See, I'm not actually the diver. I'm the pump man.
I have a friend who does the diving is your friend experienced?
Oh, he's been underwater half his life. He used to be a lifeguard in a car wash.
Where is this island of yours? Prince?
A few days journey across the sea on the road to Bali. You will love that too.
It is an island. Paradise
girls. Huh?
Could it be a paradise without girls?
Welcome to the club.
Oh, I'm a cable mother to send my other lips.
Boy, did I make a terrific deal? I knew you'd do it. You little genius. You did it.
Good. Congratulations. A deal. Boy,
you
are.
Yes.
Well, these threads are a little beat.
If we're shoving off the paradise, we better slip into our linens
will take care of your needs. We will sail at sundown, sundown. It's perfect.
I freckle, you know, Carl's paradise money. What a jackpot.
You did it all with your own little by little head.
All same muscles take our luggage. Will you here you are. Don't get these mixed up.
Now.
Mine's blue for boys. Say Sam. Is that the way all the natives dress on your island?
Really?
George?
You suppose not a chance.
Stick around folks. He could be wrong. You know.
Cast
off. Who?
Oh,
comes with
long
the moon
flow
in
love war
for
five
flowers
outside my,
I'll watch the
lines by the wishing tree.
It ends beneath my window
and there, I'll be
there. I'll wait.
The moon flo
may bloom for me.
I watch the
that winds by the wishing
who's
beneath my window?
And there I'll be
and there I'll wait for
the moon.
Law.
Isn't it beautiful?
It's a tartan of my father's clan
highness. Your cousin, Prince Kenner
Rock. He is here.
I will see him alone. You girls may leave.
Hey, things are picking up
case the local architecture. Yeah.
Built like brick pagodas.
How
can they have too? They look like Americans look like dinner
rocks.
They are not
bad. I
think they must have got our wires. Oh,
we gotta ration ourselves down here.
Let's get the box lunches and head for the high country mega.
I don't know which way to turn. Everything looks so good. Don't get tied down.
This may just be the older stuff, you know.
No. What's that?
It's a O Flynn. He can't stand it.
Make yourself available.
We'll meet you at the drive by.
You have my local brand. I'll send you my suit size and everything.
Nice to know.
We still get that old magnetism that Sierra must have recharged our batteries.
Like I've had a complete overhaul.
We can get our speedometers turned back now. We're in business.
Wouldn't that be lovely?
Don't look now, but
Tana's brother are still with us. Don't worry about them.
Let them get their own girls. I wonder if they massage too bad.
My prayers went unanswered prayers for me. Yes,
that you be washed overboard.
Despite your prayers,
I managed to obtain some excellent diving equipment and two American divers.
I think our plan, our plan.
I want no part of it.
Your two Americans will die like all the others. It's just cold blooded murder.
Hey, how about those chicks?
Steady? Now, remember Australia?
All that trouble. Yes, we're not gonna get involved with girls again. Never, never.
No, sir. Ok.
Well,
well,
your turn
tilt your highness. May I present our guests,
highness, gentlemen. You are in the presence of my cousin, Princess Laa of the two.
Well,
the name's Gridley, Princess Harold Gridley, sportsman, rur
polo player and all around. Good egg. Well, don't lay it here.
Welcome to that two gentlemen, George
Cochrane. At your service, your highness
he
can to
go run play with the peasants. I'll take care of the royalty. Do you mind
me
always fight over girls? What else can we fight over? We've never had any money.
That's for Washington. Now, let's be fair. Let's be fair. Leroy.
If you can't pay, they give you time.
Now, follow me, gentlemen.
Where else coming?
They have become friendly.
It is a bad omen. Hormones are for old women.
The sharks will soon be picking their bones.
This kid carries her own antenna,
man. This is quite a coincident, amazing what you can do with a G I loan.
They must have gambling here just time. Who's there?
She was my mother queen. Toma. A vet too
beautiful
and he was my father.
Didn't anybody in the family wear the pants,
colorful old chap, wasn't? He certainly must have got around.
Some father sailed a merchant ship that called here. He liked the island.
Met mother and remained.
I'd like to remain here myself.
You're reading my mind you, you're the one who always wants to go home. I'm home.
This is it
something wrong princess?
You must be very tired after your voyage. You must rest before, before what?
Before tonight I am having a feast in your honor.
Run out to the car and get my finger ball. Huh? You need your chopsticks.
Just my fork and a pusher. Hurry back. Boy, I may join you. I think I'll come on.
Hey, wow, not bad. Without a reservation.
Rest. Well, I will see you tonight. Yeah. Leave a call. We'll call you later here
here. Don't overmatch yourself old
man?
Didn't they get a little rain later?
How about that.
Hey, what a spot this is. Isn't this lush central park with twin bed?
Would you like me to shoot you a squirrel before you naps?
You wouldn't do that. Daniel Boo. I might dug off a road. This will do for me. George.
This will do it.
Good night.
Yeah. Get your shoes off. You're in a palace. I've always wanted to play the palace.
Draw the blinds ALF it's siesta time for the so
very well sir. Check back with me man.
I could spend the rest of my life with a joint like this.
Why you say that every time you get in a bed,
I'm in a haze that la la intoxicates me. That could be
she's half scotch and with me for a chaser,
I just don't end on another hangover
freedom.
I better get some black polish. This may be formal tonight.
Hood man
out of my way. Who do you think you are? It's the toe of my boot.
The man of you pushed to for
a
man. This is the day I celebrate my birth, the
salmon, son of a servant, son of a son of a gun for
who can play the dr
is of a piper in the town. Have to put their kilts on and come right down.
All ye brownie lads are whether your poor man of wealth
meet me in the
tavern to drink my health.
Those that's standing in my past and Clare.
Don't you know you're face to face with Robbie mcbath or Robbie macbeth.
Hey,
you
hook
him
on out of my way. Who do you think you are?
It's the toe of my boot. Come on, if you push
to
good
man. This is the day I celebrate my
bru,
the self and son of a s
and son of a son of a gun from
B from the,
say Haggis. What is it, MCB?
Have you heard the latest about Mctavish?
He don't know he's living on the roof. Why would he be living on the roof?
He heard someone say the drinks around the house,
the
dogs around the house. You know what? We,
it's a little late. So good night folks.
Right?
The what?
Good bye.
Oh,
thanks. You're a pal, not mine but a pal here. Harold. Sit here. Are you kidding?
He takes the large economy size. Thanks to Heap
next week. It's my turn to wear the girdle. Why don't you entertain us a little?
Do your disappearing act?
Oh, I know that one. You mean the Hindu rope trick?
How does he dress in a revolving door?
I'm sure you've heard of this. As a matter of fact, it's impossible.
This must be the one where they throw the rope up in the air, climb up and disappear.
It's nothing. It's sort of a mass hypnosis. Where did you learn words like that?
This kid was drummed out of kindergarten for
cheating and finger painting I was framed.
Now. Watch,
what else is new?
Ok.
Who, who? Pardon me? Governor? I think this calls for me.
I'll be in the balcony.
I've heard about vanishing cream, but vanishing blubber.
Fight him off. Princess, here comes Jack up the beach
dog
down, boy, down, boy.
How's the beast in the penthouse?
Ah, space cadet returns. Did you get my car? Jock had a wonderful time.
I'm glad you were here. Oh, very funny. It's easy for you to get up there.
And it's mass hypnosis, mass hypnosis. You're full of helium.
So, how about a little black magic for me? Princess.
Here's an exciting bit of hocus pocus
where cobra comes out of there. It's yours. I'll split it with you.
You pay your dues.
I wouldn't believe it if I saw it.
I saw it and I don't believe it.
Bye.
I'm starting to believe it.
I,
hey,
what a fool. I was. What a fool in scout camp.
They had basket weaving and I took up wood burning. You wouldn't listen to me.
Give me the pipe.
Say,
pardon me, dear.
I'm going into business for myself. I'll check with you in a fort.
That junior's always eager to improve himself.
Always trying to pick up something new. Say, Princess.
What about you?
And I seeking out some leafy Dell where we can discuss you in terms of me,
George. I must talk to you and Harold. Oh, forget about Harold.
He's a, he's a hustler, a philanderer. A ro
a
I want to tell you something.
He ran out on a very lovely girl down in Australia and on their wedding day too,
I think he's attractive.
I can't hear you not reaching me at all.
I think you're attractive too.
Contact.
Actually, as a matter of fact, there's nothing special about me.
I'm just an average all around, all American boy with an excess of charm.
Harold told me that too, about me, about him.
So conceited, that man.
What
delightful place you have here. Princess. Be lovely.
Just to lay around here and grow old
George.
You and Harold will never grow old unless you escape at once. Escape.
My cousin Kenna Rock is a scheming murderer. I think he's a pretty nice guy.
He's a little formal, a little cold. Perhaps you do not know him.
He has sent many men to their death in the sea.
Little physical too. Huh? K A
Rock will let nothing stand in the way of his ambition.
Years ago. My father set out for bally to sell a chest of valuable jewels.
The boat sank on a reef outside of a lagoon.
Neither my father nor the jewel have ever been recovered.
Oh,
that's the treasure they want us to haul up out of the briny. Huh?
Many have tried but none have succeeded.
No wonder they offered us 50,000 guilders to get it.
You must escape tonight. Oh,
no, princess. You're looking at a big gilder man.
You must go. I tell you down on the wreck of the boat lives Bogota.
Boga,
who?
Bogota?
A giant squid? Let him live a little. The squid is a terror.
He's an enormous monster with, with bone crushing tentacles. A man eater.
It means certain death to the diver.
Certain death to the diver. Huh?
Harrow laughs at death. We must warn him. Tell him about Bogota.
I don't know. I may have some trouble talking him out of this.
He loves to challenge this boy death. This is bread, danger, his butter.
You've got to convince him I'm gonna butter him up pretty good.
Where can he be?
And what can he be doing?
Oh,
my
boy,
I,
the guy,
it's the tell the
boot man. Oh boy, we live,
man.
Hoot.
Hoot, man.
Oh, what a hoot.
What a business. I finally learned that trick. Who ran second?
Well, I was, hey, I've been playing this fr all night. Had to clear it with Petrillo
Georgette stash that in the icebox. Will you please
listen?
Don't you ever
like that on me again?
I was worried into a positive tizzy about you. You worry. Yes, I was about me.
Certainly. Well, bless your big fat motherly heart.
What's to worry in spite of everything I can say?
And I put in plenty of knocks that palpitating princess is all a twitter over you.
Me really is.
Wow.
This girl is not only charming. She's intelligent.
You better be careful. Boy, she'll marry you and make you a prince.
You can spend the rest of your miserable life just lolling around munching mangoes
and falling apart and having girls wait on you and stuff like that.
I can't let this happen to you.
You're all I've got,
I'll buy you a dog. Destiny calls the young prince.
Surely you can't want this. Well, it's a living.
Oh, well,
ok. Pal. I won't stand in your way.
I guess after all I booted it. I goofed when I told her what a hero you are.
Ho ho
my boy. What
a name. Who do you think you are?
Oh,
what a relief.
You just think tomorrow at dawn you'll be coming
up out of the water with the treasure.
Have a big sumptuous wedding.
Yeah. Dancing girls. Coconut frappe
is music. Oh, boy.
Hey, how am I gonna come up with a treasure?
Because you're going down for it
all. I say I can
wait a minute.
Not me.
No, I even get the bends when I'm ducking for apples. You're the diver.
I'm the diver. Yeah, you're the diver. Oh, Harold.
You don't know what this means to me. This is the nicest thing you've ever done.
Letting me be. Lala's number one. Boy.
Well, this changes everything.
Well, I thought I was Lala's boy. You were, but you resigned. It's all mine.
Now I go down to Pauper. I come up a prince.
Oh, no, you don't. That's the way it's gonna be. I'm gonna be dunked.
Oh, no, no, no, I can't let you do it. It's too dangerous.
I laugh at danger.
Ok.
If you insist
you get the jewels, you get the princess
night,
I
get the jewels. I get the princess and I couldn't happen to a nicer girl.
Mhm.
Harold Harold.
Ok.
Look, don't fool with the fun flute unless you check with the master.
Gentlemen.
It is time.
Oh, my princess is impatient.
Latimer. Lay out my top hat, white tie and swim fins. Very good
metroid. Do, how do you
Harold? Are you sure? You know what you're doing? Do I know what I'm doing?
You lucky girl. Then George told you text a little, will you?
I want to slip this over your head.
So you haven't got anything in straw with a wider brim, a long oval. Have you?
No, no, you wouldn't have that here. Well, just try it out for size.
Any size will do this. Kid's head's a little pointy.
You know, he takes anything from a three to a nine and 78. Suck in your nose dear.
Here we are.
Oh, there you are pretty snug. I'd ask you in, but it's a little crowd of me.
How
can you to joke? Well, it's easy when you're brave. He's plenty brave this fellow.
I take brave pills.
You tell her about the time at Catalina when I got
that big barge off the bottom boy was she having?
But a lovely girl. Yeah, she was a bit
here.
Annette. You may want to do your nails down there. Oh, thanks.
He usually sticks it in my back. You know, take two. We're having a one cent sale.
Don't forget my Roy Rogers water pistol.
We won't take a plumber's helper down with you. No, I work alone.
You know, Harold before you go down. I want you to think again.
No, no, no, no time to start thinking. He's gonna start sinking. How about?
I don't kiss for your hero just for luck.
Sorry madam. Next window, please remind him of Boton. Oh, yes.
Bogo.
Hey,
where's he running? Wait, wait, wait, just one minute. Lean in here, will you?
Oh, you should have thought of that before but fellas.
No, we can't go through that again. Now, if your wool
starts to itch, you'll just have to it. Get me another pair of hands for
you. Worked alone. I know. But this is different.
Hm.
Should have put some water in the radiator.
We could have made a cup of tea that is enough over the side.
Come.
Oh, thanks, Pal. I'll bring you back some saltwater t
shut to fit the kisser. Huh?
Tired, tight. Sugar. Say, right? If you find work, won't you? Ok.
I'm going,
we're going.
Hey,
I've got it. Yeah. What the treasure? Brown wooden box, brass bands.
Big lot Yes, that's it. Georgia. Come on. Come on, boy, grab the loot and scoop.
Drop me a hook. Boy. Look us up, go
lower the line and stand by.
What is it? What's the matter? Buster?
Boga 10. It can only be Boga 10.
Hey, never mind that treasure. Come on. Pull my
pet.
Hold
on.
We haven't got time now. Back to the pumps.
Come on. We'll blow him to the surface.
Get him a post now so I can get him
easy enough,
easy. Does it?
There you go.
Today he's going to
play.
Oh,
hey, Buster, are you ok?
Hey, Buster.
Exhale a little exhale. Just one.
Buster.
He's not in there.
The rich
girl.
Oh,
obviously, Boca 10 has claimed the American
now. La la. It
is time to feed the sharks. Put down that gun.
Your days of telling me what to do are over
without you.
I have the island,
the jewels, everything
for this moment. I have waited all my life.
If you try to put the finger on us,
boy and you're gonna have a lot of trouble with your breathing.
Wow.
Oh
Buster, my
boy.
What a
man.
What
a
come on boy
who's there? I'm just closing the gate.
He's flat happy this boy now he worries about. Oh, we're proud of you.
Bubble's proud of you for
we thought you were gone.
Yeah. Many brave hearts are asleep in the deep. Good thing. He's a coward. Huh?
He's wonderful. Oh,
no, it was really nothing.
I had him groggy with a headlock but he hit me with an ink bottle.
I thought that was Chlorophyll.
Hey, look,
we cannot go back to that too. He will have our throats cut. Oh, dear.
That'll hurt my high notes. That might help. You could sing duets.
We must go on to
Bally.
Bally
where we can sell the jewels. We must sail at once. I'll pack. Hey, wait a minute.
I want to ask you something. I've been wondering,
how did you get out of that suit? Out of the diamond suit? Well, it was easy.
You see, I was down at the bottom
and I
mhm.
Just think this stuff is real and it's worth millions. George millions.
Looks like Ali Khan's garbage can. Yeah, the top layer
I think I'll have cuff links made of these.
Tell me you think this is too much? No, I think that'll work.
You know, if you wear it right with a baby spot on it. They're all
lois.
Oh, yeah. And Lala's all mine. What a parley, huh?
You know when I become prince,
the first thing I'm gonna do is pass a community property law.
He has to do that cuts me in right away. What line, what form?
Fantastic.
Who, whoa, whoa,
whoa,
I may put this under canvas. Let me see this.
Hey,
shame to you. You're a grown man. She's a grown girl. Yeah, I
wonder where you grow this stuff, huh? If you find out, give me a call, will you?
I'll be top side. I gotta take my turn at the wheel. I'll slow down and
back, back, back, back, back,
back. You're pretty alert
more than, you know, I got these counted, you know. Really? 1234.
I see.
Check,
check, check,
come
how they get in there? I want better.
These are not vitamin pills, you know, they are to me. Oh, man.
How did my schoolteacher get in there?
Ok.
Oh, take us on a weekend was
what?
Just gotta sing folks now is the time to go out and get the popcorn
before you can say
I like you.
You've got to know people
watch their little tricks and listen to their talk.
See the way they walk and how they smile. That's a rule that's tried and true.
I'll rule that you are the one exception
to see you
is to love you.
And I see you
everywhere
in the sunrise, in the moon.
Any place I look
to see
who is to want you.
And I see
all the time
on a sidewalk
in a door
on the lowly stairs. I climb
some,
let me show.
Mhm.
How happy ending start.
You'll find how well I know, you
know,
was to know you
is to know you by,
to see you
is to love you
and your
out of sight
and I love you
and I'll see
in the same old dream
and
to
no,
only two more of these Silvery Knights and we'll be in Bali.
I kind of hate to think of leaving you Lola.
You mustn't think of it because you mustn't do it. I've been away a long, long time.
I gotta get back, catch some ballgame. See how the pirates are doing.
You still have pirates in America? Yeah. But they're nothing to be afraid of.
Probably hiding in the cellar someplace. But it's a fantastic place to USA.
Lo just take any town, take a town for instance,
like the garden spot of North America, the lush,
picturesque Riviera of the Middle West.
Toledo, Ohio.
Toledo, Ohio. Toledo, Ohio.
Oh, it sounds beautiful. Such a musical name.
What of music town is a jukebox in every bowling alley.
LA.
Would you go to America with me, George? I mean, marry me and go to America. Of course,
it would be wonderful. But
what about Harold?
Well, we could adopt him,
adopt him. Of course, we'd have to send him away to school.
It's a little late for that, isn't it? Oh,
no, baby. He's got to go sometime.
Why? You collapsible como you,
you and your pirates. What do you want to do? Brag about the Cleveland Indians?
At least they're in the major league. They
throw underhanded. That's gratitude. Boy, I try to plan your education.
You turn on me like a mad dog. I wish I were a mad dog. I'd give you this temper. Now,
listen, don't plan my education. I'm illiterate enough. Now,
listen, Laa,
if you're going anywhere you're going with me. Oh, no, she's not.
I don't know what to do. Junior, don't you think you should go Betty by Betty?
Bye and leave you here with this Balinese pound cake, Lally.
You gotta make up your mind and right now, oh, that's no way to talk to your mother.
Listen, mom, it's la, la, la la.
You promised to marry me if I got the treasure, didn't you? What?
She didn't promise you? Did you know what a liar? I am. Oh, so that's it.
You're up here pitching with this doll?
Well, I'm down there adlibbing with that deep sea claw machine. Harold
Harold. I do love you. Oh, I thought so.
But
I love George too. Well, if you like the other generation, they restful.
I'm so confused. I
love you for what? You are a liar.
I love Harold for what he was sometime
somewhere.
This kid's gone.
Oh,
dear me. She's in sections. We better get to the bottom of this. Yeah.
Let's get to the bottom of this.
What was I where, when probably some agonizing episode from her childhood?
We'll have to probe the subconscious with a little psychiatry here. Lava.
Just lie down, dear.
Ride down
here, dear
now.
All right.
Are
you comfy?
Yes. Doctor.
There's a lot of quack in this boy now. La LA.
We want to delve into your past.
We want way back into your childhood sort of a flashback.
Well,
when I got to be six or seven,
I remember I was terribly lonely.
I had no one to play with until one day my father brought me a little companion.
Come Sandy. Please play with me. Please.
Sandy.
Put it
Sandy.
Oh, not me. You got the wrong monkey. Well, I'll leave it up to you,
Lila. You want me for what I am? Or you want this chump for the chimp.
He used to be, kick it around a while. I'm going downstairs and peel buster a banana
and play with your mice while you're there.
So now that the impostors gone, why don't we get into Harold the wheel?
You'd better take it. These are dangerous waters, coral reefs, racing currents.
But baby, I got racing currents of my own
check.
You and George certainly are romantic. George. Romantic.
I use him for a warm up boy. I send him ahead on all these situations.
But speaking of large hips. Tell me. How'd you like his singing?
Oh, it was beautiful. Princess. I got news for you. Can't sing a note.
No, I don't. No, no, no, no, no, I do all the singing.
You see, he just, he just mows a little,
that's part of my warm up and I've got to sing slow because if he mows too fast,
his plate starts to slip.
Let me
know what you see. I'm a ventriloquist. That's part of our act. I'll show you
how are you down there?
Fine. How are you?
You see
that's the way
the wheel.
Oh,
hell. Hornblower. Captain
Horatio.
Come on. Captain Hornblower. Come on. Get it.
Hm. What have we got here?
Oh, he always did. Gulp his food. You know,
look, we may get his appendix there in a minute.
Uh huh. One of the baubles.
I think we better have this lab fluoroscope, huh?
All right.
What happened is the picture over? No, you're all right now. You're all right.
Just relax.
There must be a village on this island somewhere. I think. So.
We can buy another boat and go on to Bally.
Hey,
that's a real crazy ant hill. I hope they got a motel with hot and cold running lava.
Huh?
Yeah.
Look a bottle.
Hey, hey, look,
there's a message in it.
What does it say? Yeah. Let's see.
Says return this bottle to Sam's supermarket for three cents. Deposit.
Isn't it a pity? Every movie's got to have a message. How about that?
Let's get out of this bunker. Huh?
Wait,
well, work inland here.
Hold it, hold it
just a minute.
I haven't been smacked in the face this much since my first rumble seat.
Let's change places as you would push on. Princess
whoop, whoop,
whoop,
something wrong here.
Look, let me go ahead. I'll break the trail before it breaks me. A
Dawn Livingston.
So, isn't he breaking trail? A little high?
An animal snare. Now, we know there are people on this island.
Hey, there's people up here too.
I wonder what the locals are like? Oh, I hope they're not cannibals or headhunters.
I hope they're orange pickers. I want to get off this tree. Oh, stop squawking.
You'll fall off when you're ripe. I feel like a windsock.
Hey, where are you going? Diggers? Buster.
Quiet. Somebody's coming.
Hi. Hi. Go ahead.
Thank you. Ok.
Who is that? That's my brother, Bob. I promised him a shot in the picture.
He's handsome. Yes, it's a family characteristic. Do
get me down. My brain's rushing to my head.
Harold. Oh, yeah. The Dangler. Let's get the sap out of the tree.
The sloppiest hanging I ever attended.
You're saved a pardon? Just came from the governor.
Easy now. Steady.
Ok. I wish I had a snapshot of this for the tuna club. Huh?
Up, sir, Daisy. Let's get him be careful now. Ok. Take it easy now. Whoop.
Oh, I'll never say bottoms up again.
You got me down just in time.
I was getting tan in the wrong place.
It should wait on this tree and I'll hold it and I'll cut the phone. Are you? All right?
Fine.
Blood's coming back to my toes.
Now, if I can only get my toes back to my feet, it's good for your sinuses up there.
Now, this boy loves to travel. Come on, we bring him a band aid
this way, nurse and bring my toy boats
over here.
Look,
Buster. Come on out of there. Not me. I'm staying out of here where it's safe.
Hurry now. Come on. Get out of there. Looking back at you. Look, look,
come
on,
boy.
Oh,
I
got you.
I got. Yeah. But have you got all of these?
Hey,
I feel a breeze. Breeze.
Well, I'll be darned color television. Where
wide screen too. Really? Am I in
just your best angle? I
wish I had my rearview mirror. Look.
The African Queen
Humphrey Bogart.
Boy. Is he lost?
Hey. Hey, Boogie.
Hey,
jungle fever. That's what we got.
That was just a mirage.
What about this Humphrey Bogart's Academy Award?
An Oscar. Give me that you got one
friends.
This is a great occasion. Me receiving this Academy Award
and I'd like to say a word,
run.
That's the word.
Uh what do we got here? A jungle motel?
Say it's a little south for a brown derby, isn't it? Hello
anybody home?
I'm a member of the automobile club.
This is cold. There's been nobody here for some time.
We can spend the night here.
Yeah, I'll go sign the register. Princess Laa, the honorable George Cochrane and
Maner.
Hey,
hey, I found a gun. So we heard. Oh, that's wonderful.
Now, one of you can go out and hunt some food. Oh, you're so right, Laa
say here. Annie Oakley run out and shoot us a filet mignon. Medium rare, huh?
Yes, don't hurry. Hey, hey, now, wait a minute, wait a minute.
You're the sharpshooter nix.
This boy played second shotgun with the Spike Jones band. Not me.
The last thing I shot was two sixes. Please.
Will one of you go out and hunt some food before it gets too dark. Ok. Tell what we do.
Winner stays here with LA.
Go,
man. Those Republicans are everywhere. That's the Junior branch.
Harold
couldn't sleep. Huh?
No,
neither could I. And for the same reason,
may I sit down
chilly, isn't it?
You need something around you
preferably me?
Oh, this is so peaceful.
Yeah, it's what I've always wanted. Fireside home,
backyard with flowers, vegetable garden,
couple of oil wells,
a home.
That's what every girl dreams of.
I'll make your dreams come true, honey.
What about George?
Well, we can always make him our babysitter.
Of course, we'll have to lock up the liquor.
Shall we build up the fire? So,
I'm in flames now. Lola,
love girl.
I never knew love could be such a problem. What's the problem? Aunt Em R chaperones.
Asleep in there.
What do we do when we get to Bali?
Well, you're gonna marry me naturally.
Are you?
Well, I,
yes,
no,
you won't say yes. And you won't say no. You let my poor heart pound.
But you smile at me and around. I go on the merry go run around,
you build me up till the sky seems low. Then clap. I hit the ground
but you hold my hand and around. I go on the merry go round around
when a friend says to me,
where the heck are you bound?
What the deuce can I say?
Just around and around and around.
You won't say leave and you won't say who I've tried to get on one
but you kissed me once and around. I go on the merry go run around.
Oh, you won't say yes and you won't say no. You let my poor heart pound.
But you smile at me and around. I go on a merry go run around,
you build me up till the sky seems low. Then pop. I hit the ground
but you hold my hand and around. I go on a merry go run around.
Dumbo. What's why do you cut into my scene, please? I'm singing, singing.
You'll never go any place with your singing. You can't even cry.
I may have a nervous breakdown in this spot. Have one up in a tree. Will you?
Yes, I'll say hello to your relatives.
You won't say leave and you won't say
buddy.
But
I,
but you kiss me one
stand around. I go
on the merry go run around.
I won't say yes and I won't say no.
I let your poor hearts pound but you smile at me and around.
I go on the merry go run around,
you build us up till the sky seems low. Then
I hit the ground
but you hold our hand and around. We go on the merry go run around
where a friend says to me,
where the heck are you bound?
What the deuce can I say?
Just around?
Wow,
you won't say leave and you won't say who,
who
dare?
I try to get all
but
you give
me one
and around. I go
on.
Mhm.
Hm.
Yeah,
Carol George. Get up.
What's the matter?
What's
the bus leaving?
House detective here? I don't know what happened to
see
and look out.
No,
it's a female gorilla. It must be the dead one's mate.
Ok.
The winner and new champion.
Well, I better put out the cat guns. No good. No, no. What's the sound?
Where to go?
Hm.
We might as well relax. Let be your old winter. Yeah. Let's dig in phone.
The command folk.
Hey,
what is this morning,
Lana
get up. She's not here.
Lala's gone. Maybe some dirty rat kidnapped her. Oh, couldn't be. We're both here.
Oh, you,
oh man,
moms would
fly
at the
lives
will be in
of war
among them
blood.
I love
and
love
outside. My.
Isn't that a beautiful picture?
Yeah. When does the tide go out
that line by the
wishing
it ends beneath my window
and there
is
where I'll wait for.
I long for
the moon flies
may bloom for me.
How come we don't fall? Paramount? Wouldn't dare
at your age.
Should I wear that?
Inhale?
Hey, come on out of there. Yeah. Time's a wasting.
I'll see you back at the hut.
Oh, no, we couldn't leave a poor defenseless girl like you out alone in this jungle.
Yeah, you need two defenseless men to protect you. Speak for yourself.
All right. Turn your heads
selfish.
My hair ribbon. It's gone. Hair ribbon.
What about your sarong?
You stay there while I get dressed. What about your sarong? It's nice talk.
I just ask you cover up your eyes like she said,
you never want to have any fun. Innocents.
My type of girl, the athletic type when the right kind of a girl comes along,
you'll be swept off your feet.
Yeah.
My type of girls right back there. I want to tell you that
I accept all I know all about swimming.
You know, I was, I used to grease them for the channel. Swim. Plenty of oil left over.
Yeah.
Oh George. Come on. Cut it out. Will you come on, stop
you.
Hey,
hey
George.
Oh
Harold. You pick up with the darndest people.
Harold.
George. George. Where'd you go?
Buster?
Buster. Don't get excited now. Play it. Play it real cool. Buster.
Don't, don't, don't, don't antagonize her as the dead gorillas make Buster.
What does she, what does she want revenge? No, no, I'm, I'm afraid not.
Please.
J
George. This kid's a Jew
delinquent. Keep cool. You keep cool. I'm numb. I, I'll think of something. George.
Keep
cool. I'm too cool.
But
why am I attracted to young widows? Oh, Buster. I don't like the look in her eye.
Oh, George. Get a rock a club. Anything. Kill one of us.
George.
George
sing to her, you know, music hath charms to soothe the savage beast.
Rest that is beast. Press s
to see you is to love you. And I see you everywhere
in the sunrise, in the moon glow.
Everywhere. I look, you're there
now, baby. No, I got a frog in my throat.
Sounder,
soothe him
sing. Sing to see you is to want you to love you. And I see you. Buster. Keep singing.
And if you get tired call Gary. Hey, Buster.
No,
they're after me. Who the natives? The natives get the jewels and run.
Hey, hey, keep working
out a gorilla. The natives are here sing
singing
native.
You go, go see
you. You
what?
Mosquitoes? A rear guard action. It's a poison dart. What call an ambulance?
I'm wounded.
I
got ya.
Tell me this is only a vitamin shot, honey. This is a dhaka
GD. A
who?
It won't kill you. It'll just cause muscular convulsions. Then a coma.
Daka G means the laughing twitch.
Jacob,
go sit in the audience if you're gonna laugh like that.
Thank
you very
much.
Right
him out.
A
little
guy.
Very
that
I
wish I was a little pig that stayed home.
Don't worry, till they put an apple in your mouth, then you're in trouble?
Oh.
What's this bit?
How many times have I told you? Don't play with your food, don't play with the food.
Berman's son of crawling
me
say, did you hear that kid's mother? Those cats were cannibals.
Maybe they're only headhunters, only headhunters.
It's the only hit I got. I'm very attached to it. What do you mean?
They throw the rest away right now? I wish I was back with that sweet, lovely gorilla.
Oh,
yes. I'm carrying a little bit of a torch for her myself.
I hope the barbecue boys are back
and his
brother.
Well, they took her. Why'd they take just her? Maybe they start with a dessert, huh?
Where they're going?
Uh, oh,
they can't really be headhunters. No. No. Just,
hey,
what are those popsicles?
Looks like my draft board
on your knees. Woman
on your knees to bo
aa
I priest of no,
a ta
I kneel to no one
large
part.
That's scotch weave.
Where did you get it
long ago? From a white man?
He wore it like the skirt of a woman. This man
was he called MacTavish.
Yes,
that is how he was called
Maca
Tavish.
Macca
Tavish was my father.
You are Princess Laa.
Your father was my good friend.
Still warm in my heart
and for his daughter,
anything you wish for shall be done.
On the Y
la la
Divito
21 gong salute.
Just listen to that. Will you, for whom the bells toll?
Yeah, I saw that picture. Very few laughs.
Even Gary Cooper got killed.
Yep.
Well,
I don't mind getting killed but they're gonna torture us. Oh, no,
no, I couldn't stand torture me neither. No, they're not gonna torture me.
It hurts.
Well, there's only one thing to do.
Yeah.
Ready
patty cake. Patty cake. Bake your ma
bake a cake as fast as you.
So you see, I love both them.
Harold and George. Then your highness has no problem
here on
N
AA A woman can have as many husbands as she can afford.
I can marry them both.
And why not
white women have many husbands too.
But only one at a time
here. We do not like the installment plan.
Marry them both.
Oh, that is wonderful. Beaumains.
Happiness is like smoke in the wind
so quickly gone.
Let it be done. Now at once. Very well.
See to it that the two white men are prepared for a royal wedding.
To the princess, royal wedding.
Masloff.
Thank you
royal wedding. Masloff.
Now we will visit our chief Ramayana.
Wait a minute. You ain't cooking me in oil. No, no, no, you can't eat me.
Look, I'm skinny. I'm stringy. I'm tough. I'll give you indigestion.
We do not eat you.
Oh, no,
you ought to be married. Married.
Now.
Wait a minute. I'm not gonna marry you. Go ahead. Eat me. Kill me. I'm fat.
I pump, I'm delicious. No un presents aftertaste. Go ahead. You do not marry me.
You marry the princess of I too. What
you mean? La la.
So she finally came to her senses, huh?
Llama.
What is this? My trousseau?
It reminds me of a blind date I once had in Cleveland.
Well,
that's perfect. You may proceed to groom the groom.
Oh, poor George. This will kill him.
Well, some of us have it and some of us don't.
But I feel like such ac having so much of it.
Please. I've undressed myself since I was 17.
Well, I see my wedding headdress is back from the denis.
Oh, Mayer Mayer Mayer Easy on the cologne. Let's be subtle. Shall we
insidious? Like,
ah, me, I feel so deliriously demolish.
Some of us have it and some of us don't
poor Harold.
He must have misplaced it.
You may pour just a little cooking sherry. Huh?
You are every bit as beautiful as I have been told. Princess Laa.
Chief Raana
has heard of me. Yes, my dear cousin. Kill a rock. It is good to see you
Laa.
And this too, that's my new thief. Not a thief, my cousin, but a matchmaker.
My dear wives are aging rapidly
and they bore me.
You princess will bring youth into my home
youth.
It's wonderful.
No,
no, this cannot be silence.
Take the princess into the bridal hut.
She has spirit too
in the morning. In the light of reason, she will agree to our bargain.
Raana, you cannot do this thing. She has given her heart to the two Americans.
Those white mice,
I have an idea
instead of their hearts.
Laa
shall have their heads Franken. So
they make lovely bed posts.
What
Rama honor?
Listen to the wedding champs
already. The two grooms are being prepared.
We cannot stop this ceremony without insulting the gods and your people.
Why not have your ceremony
with two grooms and no bride? Excellent,
two grooms
and no pride. No,
Ra
Jong. The God of the sleeping volcano
will not permit the sacrilege of a wedding without a bride
who rules this island? You or the volcano.
You are right.
I rule this island.
I
that volcano.
Ra
Jiang
God of the sleeping volcano.
Do you approve of this action?
You see
a silly superstition for old women.
You do not fool Ramya
with your ventriloquism.
Yes.
Now go
attend the wedding of the two grooms
without a bride.
Oh,
same muscles. Is the bride gonna wear one of these too?
Yes.
Well, I'm game. If she's game,
we'll win the door bride. Sure.
Hey, wait a minute.
Does the princess wear one of these two?
Yes, this could lead to a ticklish situation.
Ah
Nice fit.
Well,
let the wedding ceremony begin.
Not,
yeah,
come
1 2011
but to
the
but to my
one
you
have to love.
The wedding line is ready
but
no pride.
I ate it.
Sabotta
AKI,
AKI.
And with the ceremony
not to my mind
and
continue.
Oh
mau mau
Wahu
Kaliko
with this wine. I pronounce you man and wife.
What
I
to
I
talking
about?
Take them away.
Advise me when they awaken.
I have plans for them.
LA
and Lala's mind.
Oh, honey,
la
la.
There's a man in bed with us. Yeah, I got a hold of him.
Hey, hey, what is the idea? Somebody switch roommates on me. Where's my wife?
This woman's a man? You do not have a wife? Are you kidding? Jack?
I'm Prince Harold of that too. You, I married
Laa. You did not marry the princess. Wait,
I married her. You did not marry her. You kid. Look,
I put on this bug eyed beat. I sweated my way into that pullo gimp.
I got feathers up my nose. I was wrapped. I, I, not
one of us has got to go to Reno. Let's hurry before Loella grabs us.
Where's LA? LA
Princess Lala's to become the seventh wife of our chief. Wait a minute.
What becomes of us?
You have five minutes to live?
Will we feel it? Oh,
no, we use sodium Panter.
Oh, that's sweet.
Isn't that thoughtful
Buster?
I guess this is it.
So
at least we're going out together.
We've been through a lot together. Old pal.
I can't complain though. We've had a lot of laughs.
I just hope in your heart of hearts. You can forgive me for the few,
the few little bitty times when I tried to con you.
There's a storm coming up here, huh?
I forgive you George.
I know you've always met will.
I must have been a trial to you.
I
say we might get postponed here on account of rain.
Hello, Harold.
You know, of course, I don't have to tell you what you've meant to me.
We've been through so much together
and here we are in life
as in death. We face it together.
Slager
Lager.
Yeah,
we gotta get Lila down.
What are you out
at her?
All this meat. No, tomato.
You all right, honey. Yes, dear.
Get away from this weenie roast. We got the jewels. I don't want to be a rich sinner.
Come on.
Gee. Look at all that rice going down there. Huh?
Yeah. Rice. It's symbolic. Symbolic.
You have rice. You know, pudding
and weddings. Two a princess.
Look
a ship.
We're saved.
We must get to the beach.
Hey,
the ship's captain can perform the ceremony.
I'll take care of my own wedding arrangements. If you don't mind,
you're a real nice boy. I'll let you give the bachelor's dinner.
You're a little heavy but you can be flower girl. This girl's marrying me, Buster.
This kid needs me in her work. Now. Wait, wait just a minute here.
All right. Let's settle this.
Once and for all before we get on the ship, let's toss a coin coins. We're tap.
I got a better idea. We'll Indian wrestle. Ok.
Oh,
no. The last time I won you gave me an Indian here. Let Lola decide
we'll draw straws.
Yeah.
If she draws a long straw, she gets me the shark one. You, yes.
And I'll hold the straws.
All right, please.
I've already made up my mind.
Ah, tough luck old man. Too bad. Gee,
I'm sorry, Harold.
You pick him?
Yes.
Oh, how near sighted? Can you be?
Cheer up Buster. You'll find somebody. Try the Lonely Hearts Club. Eh?
No,
Lala's the only girl in the world for me.
Hey, you've got a basket there. Now.
If you just had your magic flute, you'd be in business.
Well,
it just so happens.
That's my gallant little man. He's always thinking.
Mhm.
Jane Russell. A
wing ding
ladies.
Hey, wait a minute.
What are you gonna do with two girls?
That's my problem.
Hey,
hey, hey, come back. Wait for me.
Oh, no, you don't stay right where you are folks. This picture isn't over yet.
Stay right there. Can you see? Hey, come here. Hey. Oh no, you don't. No, you don't.
No. Stay right there. Keep me. Hey, George G
LA.
Hey. Oh no, no. Stay right there.
Go, get the writers, get the producers, get my agents, get a girl.