Try
American police, right?
We're working in collaboration with the local authorities to try
to keep undesirable characters out of Mexico right now.
We're after a confidence man named Joe Bascom.
I shall be very glad to assist you in any way. Senores.
Thanks.
Keep your eyes open for a pudgy little guy who looks as if
you're always apologizing for something dark complexion about 5 ft five and fat.
That description fits. Mm
But even if I do see him, how would I know him?
Well, that's our trouble. We don't know him either. Then how you know he's down here.
We traced him from El Paso.
He won a dance marathon contest there and used the prize money to get down here.
He danced the samba for 68 hours straight.
We understand he's still a little goofy from it too.
Please
don't whistle
a samba.
Thank you.
Please. I asked you not to whistle at Tom. Don't do it anymore.
The
sombrero
we'll fight. Come on.
Hey, look,
that must be best.
So that's Montana.
She's beautiful. Clever too.
I took that kid from a small time rodeo. Build her up to this.
No.
Oh, no,
no. Couldn't be, what couldn't be signor.
Oh, no, nothing.
I thought I saw something. I hope I didn't see. Excuse me? Just a minute.
I can't find a boss. He's got to be around here somewhere.
Come on, let's go up here,
go
to
the,
throw
it under me,
throw it under me
and there.
How much?
No
garlic?
Oh, so,
well,
I
don't know,
but
I a
ok.
II, I blow out of
here.
I blow out of
here.
I,
I'll see you later.
I'm, I'm, I'm gonna go now.
Hold
on, hold
on.
Yeah.
Broke.
Ha.
Thank you,
mama,
mama.
I'm
sick,
mama.
You sure you looked up there. I looked all over that section.
Excuse me, I
get
it
back.
I
sees me.
No.
What are you doing here in Mexico? What am I doing in Mexico? I look
at you.
You dirty crook and I'm gonna stick around here until you get
back all the money you stole from my friends in Iowa.
I stole. Yes,
you're the one the cops. Yeah, but you got the money.
Don't change the subject
and the cops know you're here.
Only the two guys that are chasing me and if they catch me,
I'm gonna tell them the whole truth and then they're gonna get you
all up, Joe. Wait and we'll talk about the money later.
The most important thing is don't get yourself arrested now,
go find an empty seat and hide under.
I'll see you after a while.
I guess I told him,
Adamson,
something's come up very important.
I've got to have that dough right away instead of after the ceremony.
Now, Lambert, let's not be hasty.
Our agreement is when Montana chooses me to be the Amigo Americano.
I return the money for the silver mine and if Gus
is the
Amiga Americano, he can stick somebody else with the mine.
It will sell like cupcakes maybe five or six times.
I'll beat it before people think would frame it for me to be the amigo.
What are you doing here?
You told me to find an up the seats,
sit
down,
sit down.
What are you trying to do? Ruin me?
Me,
ruin you.
Who was it? That told me I had oil in my backyard.
Who was it that made me sell that phony stock to my friends.
Who was it that ran away with the money? Who was it that made Mary mad at me.
If you're getting tired of the, who's I got? What? For you on second base?
Listen, there's a guy gonna give me the dough right after the bullfight.
Sit, still, sit, still play.
Yeah,
thanks.
I tell you to sit down. Who's the sweet? Are you?
For
what? Sweet
Polly
played dead. William played dead Williams.
I'd tell you to sit down. I just want to see what he's doing.
Be a dope. The
Montana.
That's the way the Mexicans say Hurrah. Why don't they just say hooray.
Look, when in Rome do as the Romans do. How did Roman say hooray?
I skip it, skip it. That's silly. And noy,
I'll skip it. Holy,
holy ho skiers.
I still like hooray.
Would you keep quiet?
What happens,
Montana just finished the book and I'm finished with your book.
Now, where's the money? I'll have the money for you. The minute
friends. Amigos
as you've read in the newspapers and heard over the radio
today starts Amigo Americana week.
A citizen of the United States will be selected as a representative American. Hey,
that voice is very familiar for seven glorious days.
He will tour Mexico as an honored guest.
My hat will be the key to Mexico.
The lucky American who catches it
will be the Amigo Americana.
Hey,
it's me.
No wonder you didn't want me to see what was going on. Why you dirty truck, Mary
you
one
two.
Mary
Joe Bascom.
You
boys put them down. There's been a mistake.
I'll say that's been a mistake.
I think it was the double cross when you wanted with the dough fast
C on my word of honor, honor. You've got as much honor as that. Mine has silver.
Sell it in the fat chart. He hasn't got a corner, neither have you.
Things are not cooking so good. Are they Harry?
Awful. If Gus
was made the Amigo Americano, you would use the position to sell the silver mine.
Why don't we get the cute little amigo to sell the mine, huh?
It won't work baskets too stupid and too honest,
but we're not too stupid
and we're not too honest.
Put me down, put me down. I demand a fair trial. I'm innocent. I tell you.
Now put me down.
Monsignor.
Do
yours
has
been made
on
me or
me?
X one R
you not pin on me.
How, why am I American Consul? How, why am I congressman?
I'll wire anybody at you put me down. I tell you,
I give me
the very idea.
Pick
up.
All right. Will you come along quietly? Bascom? Bas
him. My name is fish. Humphrey fish. Yeah. Why did you run away?
Why were you chasing me? Because you ran away? Why'd you run?
Because you were chasing me in just a minute. My good man.
You've made a terrible mistake. There's something wrong here.
I happen to know Mr Fish. Mr Fish for quite a number of years.
I'd rather call myself a cross. So would I, you keep out of this? Who are you?
That's Mr Harry Lambert. We're old friends.
He goes wherever I go, don't you, Mr Lambert? We think he's Joe Bascom.
Are you willing to swear he's Humphrey fish. Have you got a picture of Joe Bascom?
No, he took it on the lamb before it could be mugged.
That's Humphrey fish and I demand that you release him immediately.
Something wrong, Mr Lambert. Yes, Mr Winthrop.
These men think that my dear Pal Humphrey fish. Here's Joe Baskin,
a fugitive from justice.
A pure case of mistaken identity.
That's a lot of malarkey Mr Winthrop. This guy adds up to Joe Bascom.
Joe Bascom is short and dumpy like you
like me and he's got a roly poly face like you
like me and he's got short fat stumpy legs like you. Yeah, like me.
Officer arrest that man.
Let's go. Boys
be with
me
and all that.
That's wonderful.
Now pick
up girls love a
little kiss, a little smile and call it, hold it, hold it, hold it. That's wonderful.
Thank you, Seor.
Thank you, Senor.
Well, it's ok
and I want to thank you, Senor.
Well, girls, I want to thank you too for having your picture taken with me. Oh, Seor,
you do not have to thank us. It's we with the compliments of the Chamber of Commerce.
So long as you are here, we are sort of your ladies in waiting.
Senor
is un place
this kid I can never understand.
It would be bad publicity for the Chamber of Commerce
if you were to get lonesome in our city,
Senor
Que,
I'm lost again,
Mr Fish. I'm still waiting for my interview hall. I forgot all about you.
Excuse me, girls,
Mr Fish, on behalf of the Amalgamated Press, I'd like to ask you a few questions.
How do you feel about this tremendous responsibility that's been
invested in you and making you the Amigo Americano.
Well, you're pretty sure of yourself, aren't you? You characters are all alike.
Would you say the inter American relationship as
exemplified by your lackadaisical efforts to promote goodwill?
Could possibly
anything? Well, I feel exaggerating. You sound like an egotist.
Why do you attempt to use polysyllabic conversation
when your intelligence quotient is obviously minus N,
why don't you just stick to words of one syllable? You know what a syllable is?
What's a syllable? A syllable? Are you sure? You know what it is?
Give me your definition of a syllable. Go ahead. What's a syllable? Take it easy?
Don't get excited. That's just one word at a time. You're sure, you know what it is.
What's the s
go ahead. Don't get
it. I want you to tell the girls that the ghost is.
You're talking to me. Now, what's the syllable? Don't rush yourself.
I want the ghost to know that you're a very smart man and intelligent individual.
Now, don't turn your back. What's the syllable? Exactly? A syllable?
You're sure that you know what a syllable is. Go on, take it easy. Now, now
give me a simple explanation. If you give it to me, it's bound to be simple.
That's the idea. Now, we're getting somewhere. Exactly. What is a syllable?
You don't mind if I get a word in here. Do you? You go ahead, I'm getting hoh.
Now I'll give you the help. A syllable. Is a sound.
Now, how is the sound of a syllable formed? It's form born by letters of the alphabet.
In juxtaposition one to the other.
See what I mean? No, no, no, I'm telling you.
Now, how many letters would you say there are in the alphabet?
Well, it's about, not about, there's a definite number.
No rules. No, no, no, no. There's always been a definite number of S
letters in the alphabet. Now, are they all alike? No.
Well, I got that one in of course.
Now there are two types of letters, consonants and vowels.
Can you name the consonants? Yes, sir.
It's North America, South America and Paterson.
No, no, no, no, no. The consonants are 21 in number.
There are 21 consonants and five vowels are 21 and 528. No
sick. I was close. All right. Now you take the costs
and vowels and put them together. What do you form syllables?
Syllables, form words, words,
form sentences and then people talk or they do what you've been doing?
What have I been?
You've been making a fool of yourself.
Now, look, oh, you're trying to attack me after I treat you like a gentleman.
You get antagonistic belligerent. I dare you to hit me once more.
Oh, using both of your hands on me, huh?
You ought to be ashamed of trying to pull a knife or something.
I'm so
let me give you a little piece of advice before I leave?
Remember in the future when a reporter comes in and asks you for an interview?
Don't talk so much.
Me and my big mouth. Never mind, Amigo.
We'd rather have a cute one than a smart one. Sit down Amigo. Hi. Excuse me?
Sorry, come right in
girls. Tell me some more about that. Ladies are waiting business.
Well, Senor, we are going to show you the sights of the city.
Wow, we will try to make your stay a pleasant
Mary. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were busy. Wait just a minute. Don't go Mary girls.
Please do your weight on the outside.
Go ahead girls
and,
and
I'll see you.
Oh, Mary, please don't believe what you just saw because while I was with them,
I was thinking of you every minute.
Gosh, I'm glad you come to see me. Really?
I didn't think you'd be very anxious to see me again.
Mr Joe Bascom, alias Humphrey Fish.
Mary.
And please stop calling me Mary down here.
I'm known as Montana, but Mary's such a grand old name. Then you use it. Let me use it
Mary Fish.
That don't sound good the guys. Oh, that's silly. Oh, stop. Ery,
I'm sorry,
Mary
Mary.
If you didn't like me, why did you make me the Amigo Americano? Believe me.
That was an accident when I saw you in the stands. I got so mad I had to throw something
and all the time I thought you liked me.
I like you then. Will you please do me a favor and get out of Mexico.
Joe, if you're arrested down here and they find out that I knew you in the States.
I'm in an awful mess.
Excuse me, please.
I'm sorry, I got better manners than that. Excuse me,
Mr Fish. I'm David Winter from the Embassy. I'll come right in. Thank you.
I just dropped by the
boat. Oh,
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude.
In fact, I didn't know you knew each other. Oh, this is Miss Montana. Yes, I know.
How do you do, Mr Winthrop? How do you do?
I just came up to congratulate the amigo. I was just late.
Please don't go. I'd like to talk to you. I'd only be a moment,
Mr Fish.
I dropped by to point out that during your tour
you will virtually be an ambassador of the United States.
Me, an ambassador. Why?
I'm only a little boy, an ambassador of goodwill.
You'll be in the public eye every moment your every move will be watched.
The embassy didn't want the tour to be a strain on Mr Fish.
So we've taken the liberty of preparing your speeches.
Here's the one for Tosco tomorrow night,
Mr Fish.
Do you think you can deliver a speech and why not?
I used to deliver newspapers and they're bigger and heavier than this.
Shall we go? Mr Winthrop,
allow me,
please.
Oh, Mr Fisher. If there's anything else you want to know?
Check with Mr Lambert, he's managing the tour.
Unfortunately, right now I can't locate him. He's probably all tied up.
Goodbye.
Wait,
ambassador,
ambassador
and
Harry. Do you think there's any future in me being an ambassador?
I
forgot.
Why didn't you tell me you were going on a tour? How
could I say anything? You had me hog
tied before I could open my mouth. What's the idea? Anyhow?
I just want to make sure that you hang around.
If I get pissed before I get the door, I want to make sure the cops get you too. Come on.
Wait a minute. You have bird brain.
Thanks to me. They think you're a Humphrey fish.
But before they can arrest you,
they've got to prove that you're Joe Bascombe that they'll never find
out from me because I'm not going to tell him and furthermore,
just who is this guy?
Joe Bascom? Never mind you find out. I'm not going to find it soon
enough.
Now, look at here
JB.
Did you ever see fish spelled with a B? Barracuda that
they give me that barracuda? Put that stuff
to
keep that out
of that. That's expensive. Wait a minute
JB.
What's the matter with you? You can't show those initials. Look
at
you can't, you can't afford to
you fish now. Not JB. I'm fit into
it.
Let me see the inside of your coat.
JB. Hey, I told off,
man. You want to get into some trouble don't get. So
I don't
know,
look at this on the pocket JB
JB on the pocket.
Wait a minute.
Have you got your initials on your watch? No, sir. That's fine.
I got my full name on it. That's right. Your full name. Joe Bascom.
Can you imagine that? What trouble we can get in with that break the watch?
You've got to,
you want to give this a go. No,
go
tell me what to do.
Get this JB on your belt. Take it off. You can't have JB anywhere.
What do you want to expose this? Take it off. We'll just take the belt off.
Take it up.
Now, I got everything with the initial JB on.
Burn these things up. Harry. Now, what's the matter?
I'm not sure, but it's worth a look
JB
JB JB. All right. Take it off.
Get it off. Come on, come on, get it off,
get
off.
Come on.
I
can't
take any, leave the arms on.
Never mind the arms
up. Get out of my way.
If anyone comes in.
I know what you're excited about.
Come back.
I asked him not but he got old
a gift
for
Seo.
Thank you.
Look
here
for the
Senor.
Americano crashes, crashes.
You, Harry hold
ah,
Signor.
Take it from
Navio
crashes, crashes,
Lena.
You everybody's giving me gifts.
I do have a present for the amigo
lady.
I only wanted to give him this gift from my people.
Come
on.
That's wonderful to
step in.
Who's to step in? De La
Senorita?
You like to paint? Oh, I'd love to.
I
thank you.
Bye sister. Thank you, sir.
Yeah.
Ah, no, no, no, no. A La
Senorita
Humphrey.
Stay with us.
You all are with the
Amigo. Oh, certainly
for the
Rita.
It is the best Tasco
s
ah, thank you
for you. A beautiful breast. Thank you.
That's,
that's wonderful.
That is pretty. What wonderful crest when they have in this country to
think that a short time ago that was just a hunk of silver, oil, silver or what,
silver,
silver or silver or what silver ore. Well, it's got to be silver or something.
It can't be silver or nothing.
We've been lying on the ground for thousands and thousands of years.
You see, they dig it up and then they smell it.
That's been in the ground for thousands of years. No wonder it smells.
I wouldn't dig it up. I'd dig it deeper down down as far as you could get.
Put a pole and stick a ton in the dirt and covered over with dirt.
What he's trying to tell you is that the ore is smelted?
What kind of English is that? Well, smell, it means smelled by a smelter
when a smelter melts it smells.
Now, does that penetrate?
I'm getting a whiff of it.
Then after it's smelled down,
it's made into these beautiful ornaments by a smith by a smith,
or couldn't Jones make it? Oh, sure. But he'd still be a Smith.
How can a Jones be a Smith? A Jones is a Jones.
He's got to be a Smith in order to make these Jones don't have to be a Smith.
Definitely. Why should Jones change his name just to make these things?
Don't change his name.
Did you ever go to school? Stupid. Yes, I come out the same way. That's what I thought.
I used to go to school.
La la
la.
You take a shower, you go down into the mine,
you locate the mother lode,
then you strike the vein just a minute no
further. Why I've had enough of you. What do you mean?
Now, listen to you,
I didn't mind it when you told me that a guy had to
change his name from Jones to Smith to make this kind of stuff.
And I didn't mind it when you said to me that
it was silver oil and you refused to finish the sentence.
And that goes for you too.
I didn't mind any of that kind of stuff.
But when you say to me that I have to go into a mine with a shovel
and hit my mother in a vein while she's carrying a load that is going too far.
Then your,
oh,
you
senor, you did not comprehend. I have a gift.
This is an old, old secret of my people.
We call it the elixir of contentment.
Its fragrance brings kindness.
Kindness brings understanding, understanding, brings love
with my people. If a husband and wife or two sweethearts
or friends quarrel, they inhale the fragrance.
And in one moment
all is forgiven
lady.
Does it always work,
always
bang and Children.
Humphrey. How many times have I told you not to leave the party
now? You know, that's not fair.
And I won't warn you again
no matter,
no matter
Humphrey.
Did I raise my voice to you? Yes, you did.
Oh, please forgive me.
I'm terribly sorry.
Come on, folks.
Come on, Humphrey.
I'll do the
car.
Amigo Amigo.
This is the guy I told you about. Oh, this is the automobile. She
come
on
in
for the Amigo Americana.
Come on in, honey.
Come on.
Come on. This is my automobile.
You know
Mr Martinez tells me this is a very expensive car. 500,000 pesos.
Oh, that's ridiculous. That's $100,000. Well, you know why?
Because Mr Gonzalez, a salesman. He comes with the car.
Oh, come on, get the keys and let's get going, get the keys. Let's get going. Come on.
All right, so I'll get the keys.
Mr Gonzalez. May I have the keys, please?
Thank you.
It's Christy Gonzalez.
A cap
with
a
T
I'll ever get that speech.
Look, will you do me a favor? Let me have my money. Let me go home.
I told you, I'd have your money for you in a day or so
and he can get the money if you don't make a speech. All right.
Ch,
hello?
It's for you.
Thanks,
Shin.
It's for you.
Hello?
Ah,
who was it wrong? Numbers?
Couple
Harry. Will you please let Mr Winford make the speech? Look why, worry.
I've hired the greatest elocution teacher in town.
He'll be here any minute to give you a lesson. I do. What do you worry for?
Did Abraham Lincoln worry when he says he said Gettysburg address? No,
he says one score. No, no, no, no, no,
two score. Four.
This kid don't even know the score. She's trying to make a speech
that must be him. Now
come right in. Good evening, Senor. I'm Professor Gsma.
My head, Hakem.
Are you ready for your first elocution lesson? It will be $10. Not me. Him.
Oh, for him, it will be $20. What are you doing with my K
head? Look, we'll have to hurry.
He's got to make a speech at a banquet in a few minutes.
But you can expect me to teach you much in one lesson.
He will know as much in one lesson as he will in 50 hurry. Please
beg
your
I beg your pardon. Not
H
him
too big.
Now, let's see if you're equipped for public speaking.
Watch me.
What are you doing with my gloves? You
let's see. Nose
mouth.
Larynx
diaphragms.
Oh, well, well, very good tone in the lower register now, Baba,
I want you to take a deep breath and hold it for five minutes.
Five minutes. I've got, it's
easy. Five minutes.
Oh,
call me in five minutes.
Oh,
my boy, you cheated.
You blew out. I had a blow out or had a blow out. You see? Good speaking.
It is a matter of good breathing. Now, I want you to inhale and then exhale.
Watch me just like this.
Come back here, come back here, come back here,
come back here.
I showed you again.
All beginning is difficult
but you learn it. Watch
inhale then
exhale like it.
What happened? You just just so what you do?
Never mind.
Now
how can I teach you to make a speech when you do not listen to me? Open your mouth,
stick out your tongue, stick it out further.
Uh huh. It's all right on this side now. Turn it over.
Oh Never mind.
Now, open your mouth wide and say
say
now why don't you say it? Open your mouth wide and say what?
Say it, spill it out. Come on. Ok,
Karama,
you don't please write. Say it.
How can I shave with your hand over my mouth? I would like to see you in hell.
Now look,
I I teach you how to breathe, suck in the air like this
and it goes through. No la, no
la,
no
la.
No
No,
please,
please.
Yes.
No, no, no, no. Listen to the professor.
Oh, never mind. This is your diaphragm. This is your chest diaphragm,
chest,
chest
only around a frying pan.
It's the speech,
the speech,
speech.
Well, you see professor, they were making such a fuss out of me.
I never did get to read the speech. It's my other coat. I get it.
I'll get it for you. Oh,
just a minute. Stay right here.
How can I teach you to make a speech? When you do not listen to me?
You must breathe properly. All beginning is difficult.
All I want you to do is inhale and exhale now. First inhale
and no, no, no, no. Listen to the.
Don't worry. Just do what I tell you. Would you care for a drink? Oh.
Grasses in New York. Grasses.
Really?
Is that it?
Embassy of the United States.
That's it.
Now,
go and read it.
Yes, sir.
Mexico is the land of golden opportunity.
It's for te
valleys and it's not FTE
emphasize
f
Mexico is the land of golden opportunity.
It's fertile valleys and it's touring mountains. No, no, no, no,
not touring mountains. You ever heard of touring mountains?
It's towering mountains,
towering mountains
and it's
a,
a AAA.
What's the next word?
Planes?
How dare you? I'm the electrician teacher. I worked for years.
I tried to make a living and you would say please free. I'm sorry,
I
accept your apology. Let's have some wine. Yes. Remember
in Vino veritas
in wine is true.
Ha
ha
ha.
Oh,
ladies and gentlemen, as I said before, this is a remarkable country
but
enough of fertile valleys,
towering mountains
and abundant plains.
Another of nature's precious gifts to this great land
is its vast mineral wealth.
In past centuries,
hundreds of millions have been taken out of the silver mines loom.
But there's still more where those millions came from.
Private surveys show that even though many of these mines were abandoned years ago,
modern mining equipment can still produce more millions from them.
This is truly the land of opportunity.
And before I close, I would like to take a fine statement
from one of your statesmen of many, many, many years back.
Pedro
de La
Cruz Fronto
Pancha
wa wa
from Chihuahua
who said
these never to be forgotten words.
Quote.
I thank you
unquote
Lambert. My name is Clark.
I'm ready to do business on that mine that you spoke to me, Mr Lambert.
A short time ago, you spoke to me about a silver mine. You were trying to
Lambert. I'd like to have a chance to bid on that mine.
Well, if you're prepared to wish you stock, Mr Lambert,
I'd be happy to write you a check immediately.
Well, there's no rush.
Perhaps you'll consider a partnership.
I have quite a few holdings in South America,
a
gentleman, Mr Lambert and I were practically on the verge of closing a deal.
You see, I
but Mr Clark, gentlemen, please.
I want to be fair and square with all of you boys share and share alike. That's me.
No doubt that what you're all going to Acapulco on the
Amigo Americana tour.
Well, well, my associates and myself,
we'll see that you all share equally in this bonanza.
Ok.
Pretty little thing.
And with all the tourists in this town
b will hit the jackpot the last time you used this machine, I got in plenty of trouble.
This machine will get you out of it. Don't worry about that.
Where I'm gonna go, I don't think anything's gonna get me out.
Why worry, I'll let you go out and buy the end, didn't I? Yes, sir.
And to clean up that mess back in Iowa, I'm giving you 50% of the profits. Am I not?
And to prove to you that I'm strictly on the level, I've got the mine in your name.
That's the part that's got me worried. What do you mean putting the mine in my name?
Wait a minute.
You sold oil stock without having an oil well, but here you have a real silver mine.
There's one thing very important. I'd like to ask you, what is that?
Is this on a level? Is that on the level?
Are you an honest man? You bet your life I am. Would an honest man make phony stock?
He certainly would not. Who made this me, who signed it? I did.
And it's got to be on the level. That's right.
Yes, I'll go ahead and sign the rest of them and remember your name is Humphrey Fish.
How can I ever forget it?
Well, my sales boss come right in.
Mine is a little sales force this side of the border. How do we do today? Oh, we don't
mind the,
well, get a load of this
damn
great idea of mine hiring girls, set of men for salesmen.
That's what I call using psychology.
That's beautiful psychology
from girls.
Here's a new batch.
There. You are.
Well, not
here.
Senor. Would you like to buy some stock? Oh,
ST
that's $100. That'll be four shares.
Thank you s
you
are
there. You are.
Well, I'll get a load of that. I don't want to turn my back and she makes a sale.
They belong on the desk. What are you doing now?
Remember girls for every five shares that you sell? You get one share for yourself.
Understood.
On your way.
Good luck to you. Oh,
hell,
give me that money. Don't forget our agreement.
I'm supposed to take charge of the money.
Do you want some smooth talking crook to take it away from you?
No, that's why I'm gonna keep it.
Come on, Harry, let's,
you gotta watch out for that dough. Harry. I'm very busy today. Harry.
Don't worry about the money. Oh, don't worry about it. I'm warning.
You see you later. Harry.
Now I got to find a place to hide this money. So Harry don't find it.
Put it behind the mirror. Good idea.
Hurry up.
Oh, Harry
loves.
I could read the lines between your face. You got troubles. No, I got troubles. Yes.
ST
Mark,
you've got to find out where the Amigo Americano is hidden that door.
What's the big hurry for?
More money's coming in all the time. I can't wait. Uh huh.
Maybe it's going to be a little double cross. Maybe you steal the money and
take them the square.
Oh, now, wait a minute. You've got me all wrong.
I just don't trust that guy. Oh, sure, sure. You're just like Gus Adamson.
Nice and honest.
Ok.
I'll find out for you tonight.
That's, well, I know you do it.
Please
talk to me.
I
stop playing,
stop, drop their music. Weird
as I stand beneath your window. Oh, I wish I were a bird. I would fly into your window.
If you would say the word, then we'd fly away together
and we'd build a little nest. Or just tell me that you're willing
and love will do the rest.
Is it? Yeah.
Or is it not?
Do you love me? Do you hate me? Should I stay or should I go here?
Am I with my love waiting? All the glow,
is it? Yes.
Oh,
is
it?
Oh, I'm really out to get you.
No. Matter where you'll be and the moment that I'll get you,
I'll never let you
bring your heart out in the open.
Let
me
go
try and hide it. If you can. You are looking at a woman who's out to get her mad
easy. It. Yes.
No.
Do you
love me? Do you
stop me?
Should I stay or
should I
stop?
But my life won't
stop.
We
stop the Samber. Please don't let him play the samba
cause my life all depend
how the wind will blow.
Don't
is at the end
no
or easy.
I would have
no more.
I've got two arms to hold,
to hold you here tonight.
Tell me what have you got arms for
unless you hold me tight
to do,
darling. What would be your answer
if I beg you for a kiss?
Oh, you wouldn't have to answer
if you could feel like this.
Yes.
Is it?
Yeah,
it.
Do you hate
me?
The
light down the
music
or is it? So?
Yeah.
Oh So it's you? What did you take a shortcut? Kiss me my little fish.
You have set my blood on fire. I call a fire department
all day long. I try to control myself but it's no use. Kiss me. No,
I got my good name to think about. In fact I got two good names to think about. Come on.
Make like this. Say like a prune. Huh?
Um
Was you a bugle on a girl? Scout. Come on.
Come on. Don't you know Dagmar is crazy nuts for you. Come on kiss me,
kiss me.
Oh.
00.
What's the matter? Do I affect you this way?
Dag
dag
in
my hand.
I,
why don't you leave me alone?
I'm in a hurry to get to the fiesta. You are gorgeous.
You are handsome, beautiful, irresistible. I'm like buddy in your hands. Come on.
Kiss me. Huh?
No.
If I was to kiss you, you'd lose your respect for me. But dag
Bar is crazy. Mad for you
for you. I would slave.
I would work my bones to the fingers.
I would sew unbuttons
a torn pocket. I would mend
a rip climbing. I would fix
your suits. I would keep nice and iron.
I would make everything comfortable for you.
Always in order the pillows, I would keep
an extra pillow for your head to rest and I would have
the pillows. I would always keep puffed for you. Look
under the cushions, dust. This I would not stand for
your couch
a tear.
I would have everything the best for you.
There
you are. Yes,
I don't mean to be inquisitive.
Neither do I wish to be impolite.
But
where are you going?
I'm doing all this for love
just for one little kiss. No, I need you.
I'm a woman of determination
when I make up my mind. What I want.
What I want. I get
what I want is a kiss.
Mhm.
No,
always you say no. So I'm not good enough for you, huh?
You are stuck on yourself.
I am not. So there
I know
there's another woman.
No, there isn't. And every time you look at me, you think of her?
No, you don't want to hurt her but you constantly hurt me.
I don't want to hurt you. If anyone's going to get hurt here, it's gonna be me.
So why didn't you make love to me?
I'd like to, but
I feel like something is holding me back.
Agre,
how am I ever gonna know when I'm in love?
Ah, you will know
because it strikes you when you least expect it.
Something great. Will,
boy,
boy, oh boy did love. Hit me.
It was a whopper and all the time.
I thought I would feel it right here and to prove how much I love you,
I will tell you something.
Do you know that Harry Lambert is after your money?
I know it all the time. That's why I hid it.
But he's a pretty smart fellow. He may have found it already. Where did you hide it?
I hid it.
Dagmar. Hm.
Come out with me.
Dagmar.
Do you love me?
Will you do me a favor?
Will you clean up this mess,
please? All right. Thank you.
What happened?
See map and sell a drop.
Oh,
thanks ma
bye, Ma
Dagmar.
What I got some news for you. What I'm smarter. Than Harry Lember.
Little Amigo. Smart. Like foxes. No.
Well, I better go now. DMO.
That's something I got to tell you
very important.
I don't want you to think that I'm selfish or that I'm a miser.
Shut
up,
shut
up.
You know what, what
I'm gonna give you that kiss that you've been asking for.
I've changed my mind just a minute. I've changed my mind too. You know, your blood.
She's on fire. I'm gonna put it out.
Ah,
I've kissed many men before
but never,
never have. I felt so gay. So light.
It was electrifying, wasn't it?
There's nobody here.
Yeah.
And
watch the
A,
a
AAA,
the fiesta await the amigo. Excuse me?
Mark,
I must go. The fiesta. A waits
but while I'm gone. Yes.
Ok. Girls, let's go.
Oh, we gonna have plenty of fun.
Hello?
What are you doing in e
of
official business? Can I talk to you alone? You sure can. Ok. Girls, you run along.
I'll see you in a minute. We're gonna have a fiesta that's famous for clamming.
Take your hands off me. You
can do this to me.
Oh,
wait a minute. I know my rights, Mr Winthrop. I want to lodge a complaint.
I'll do the talking here, Mr Lambert. Your little picnic is over. It's too bad.
A few of the photographs of the Amigo Americano landed in the Iowa newspapers.
My picture was in the paper. Oh,
boy. Will my mama be proud of me. They're also hanging in the Iowa post offices.
Good, Mr Joe Bascom.
Jo Bascom
David.
What's this all about?
I don't suppose you knew that this man was Joe Bascom, one of the States.
Oh, yes, I did.
You had it all figured out, didn't you make Bascom the Amigo ome
A that was an accident.
And then in Tosco, instead of reading his prepared speech,
he makes your swindler spiel.
You, of course,
had the neat little job of keeping me out of the way so that I wouldn't hear it.
Mr Winthrop, you're all wrong about Miss Montana. Never mind, Joe
afraid I was all wrong about Mr Winthrop. Skip it.
They both sound as phony as that stock. You've been peddling stock.
The joke is on you, Mr Winthrop. That stock is good. I know because I made it myself.
I went out and I bought the ink and I got my little fountain pen and I signed it all.
But my own little hand. Go ahead. Harry. You tell
me
you've already told them. Now, you'll have to tell it to a judge.
Tell it to a judge.
Harry,
isn't that stuck any good?
So you did it again.
You low down crook.
Why do you do it to me?
Look, Mr Winthrop Montana and me didn't know anything about this.
I saved every cent we took in on the stocks.
I saved it so we could give it back to the people in Iowa.
He thought he was smart but I outsmarted him.
I got the money. I hit the,
come on.
Come on,
come on.
I got the money hidden up here in the street,
the drape
the money,
the money's gone.
The money
bag.
Dagmar
Agar.
She's gone too. I gotta take
it
easy.
You're not going anywhere for a long time. Oh, I gotta get
Dagar. She's got the money and that's the only way I can prove I'm telling the truth.
Come on, I'm sick of playing games with you guys. Please.
Hold on a minute. Mason.
Let him go.
They're calling for you. You better go out there on the balcony and take a bow.
You'll have to hold off until the end of the Amigo Americana week tomorrow.
We can't risk the scandal. What about these two? Do we let them go back to Mexico City?
I think you'd better.
The tour winds up in the Tapa
Arena and they'll expect to see you there with the Amigo.
Ok, Mr Winthrop, you're the boss.
Hold off until tomorrow.
Mason. You'd better go out there with the Amigo.
Yes.
Come on in
Bascom. The shouting.
Hey, Tim, Mr Winthrop, come here.
He's gone.
Hey, how long do I have to wear this jewelry?
Just until we catch up with your little fat friend?
And we'll turn you over to the Mexican authorities? Yeah.
And when they're through with you, they'll turn your back to
us.
This would have to happen. I'll take care of it, chief.
All right, get your things out. I'll help you.
Comes a tamale wagon and I'm starved. Me too. Hey, that sounds all right to me.
Hey, Signora,
Deora.
No, no. Signora. Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
All we want is something to eat.
What have you got to eat?
I'll have an order of enchilada and tortilla. That sounds pretty good to me.
Three enchiladas and tortillas.
See
Senora,
while we're waiting, we might as well finish that tire. That's a good idea.
Joe Bascom. No, huffy fish.
Who do you think? You're kidding with this outfit on? May not speak the English?
Well, I do,
I've got a good mind to turn you over to those two cops. You wouldn't dare.
And then you've got to find a way of getting this out of this. No, I won't.
And I hope they put you in jail and give you life and 30 days besides,
I hope you have to pay a $2 fine too.
It's ok with me, but you'll be in the same cell with me. Oh,
what am I gonna do?
I'm just a poor old helpless old woman bending over a hot stove 24 hours a day,
baking my hot tortillas and my enchiladas.
You never
mind that. My enchiladas.
Listen,
we've got to get out of here. Gotta get out of here, find Dagmar and get that dough.
There must be some way.
Wait,
I've got it but now would it seem strange that your
wonderful cooking should cause these
two fine policemen some internal discomforts
that would make them sick too. Joe. You're a genius. I think I am too precisely.
What are you doing?
Are
you cooking?
It's
a piece
of
good.
Take your hand off the stove. You dummy
Knekne?
Yes. Kyanne
Cayenne
Kan
Kan,
I'll write anything
you want.
Support
played all ways
the
plan.
Alright. Alright. Alright.
Ok. Ok
man.
What you know is all he knows?
Alright
that's what.
Mm.
Take
it take it.
Are you? All right?
Ouch.
And the boy
easy.
Oh boy.
All right. All right. Put it back.
Come on
get me up come
on,
get me up.
All right. Put it back in the Python.
Pull it up.
Call this one out.
Well
are you all ready? Put in
looks good.
Oh it
smells delicious.
Ok Brian I
you try the first one.
Go ahead. It smells delicious.
You first go ahead.
No,
no. Senora
make us up a fresh batch and go easy on the hot stuff
as
an
angel.
What did she say?
Why don't you make a little one for yourself
as
they stand?
Oo
a
same to you
and
the
the the
you ready in a minute?
Pepper.
What?
Yeah
I just
a
like a
come
on.
Mm.
Yeah.
Thank you,
Senor.
You want r
trombone player?
Please keep the tempo with us
when I give you the
D be play.
All right.
Do, and the dumb beat you play?
Yeah.
Sorry.
S
when I give you the dumb beat play,
when I,
when I give you the dumb beat play.
Ok. Ok. Ok.
You're also one r, a Piccolo player.
I mean, after I play it in English so I can understand what's going on.
I mean, I'm paying you a lot of money. I'm paying all your musicians a lot of money.
I'll play the way I play. Oh, that would be impossible. That would be
imposible.
Oh,
and
Saris Signor.
No, musica. Please
play gypsies. Play,
you stick with her and I'll wait around here for winter.
Don't worry, Chief, if either one of those two guys try to get near her, I'll nab em,
you better watch them. They may be dressed up like the queen of a maid.
I could spot that little fat goat even if it
was made up like one of these mariachi players here.
Yeah.
Stop the museum.
No, Senor,
I not
Beethoven
Oikos.
Maybe I never played in the concert hall or Paris or London,
but something a poor musician cannot do. Not even for money. Come
amigos.
Uh Senior art.
Don
me.
No,
Pueblo
Flamingo
Trey.
Has he?
When
Tola
Tenor
I
C
mhm.
Where can I try and get out of my way by
page 28. All right. Thank you. You're welcome.
Where is that money you claimed
Agar took?
Where is that money?
Honey.
Uh,
oh,
I'll
never
come on.
Come on, I'll bask him. Where is that money?
Thank much Scott.
That's a lie. I searched her apartment. It wasn't there.
Where's the money? Honest?
I don't know where it is,
but I'm gonna fight before you do.
That's good.
What's up, Chief?
Ask him? He's around here somewhere.
Yeah.
There he goes.
Come, come, come back here.
Cool.
Uh,
at all.
I've seen rodeos in the States, but
never any clowns like this fellow. Many of our chata
performers are fine bullfighter in their own. Right.
Yeah.
Hm.
Come along quietly. Bascom
Fish.
Yeah.
Hi,
one.
Come on.
Go on.
Mhm.
Just don't see me do something.
Ok. So
let's, let's play
up the music, please.
Harry do. Stop me. Let me out of here.
Tell me what
is before you get pinched his bulls all over the place.
You're telling me that thing chasing me. Ain't no kangaroo.
Hey,
where's the light?
Uh,
hey, you, I've been looking for you. You stole my money. I didn't steal it, darling.
I only took it so Harry Lambert wouldn't get it first. Yeah. Well, where is it?
I
see.
My
dear fish. Catch
Bascombe tells me you've got the dough. Not now.
Wise guy, I tried to give it back to my little fish. Now the bull's got it.
The money's in the hat, in the hat.
Joe
Joe,
the money's in the hat,
in the hat. Get it back.
Money's in the hat.
Look where the hat is.
I couldn't be on the ground. Got to be in one of those things
up
there.
Ah,
I told you to get the hat tonight. He won't give it to me. And I'll let him think.
You're afraid. God, show him who's the boss? He knows who's boss.
Listen, make him think that you're brave going out there like a, to
face him like
a pecado
and fight him like a matador and he'll carry me out like a espada.
Go on, get the, get the hat.
Quit. Starling Joe. Step right up to him. Look at him square in the eye.
Come,
hey,
come
back
here.
Yeah,
they are. You and I
give me
a
give me back a
no.
Come on, I want that money. No, give me back.
Give me that money.
Give me the money.
Give me the
money.
Oh,
that's
how
you
ocean
Mr
Wrap,
Mr Winthrop
cat
money.
Go ahead.
Yeah.
What
uh
the
but
boy is that bull tired.
Me too.
Every dollar of the money is here. Mason. Thanks to Bascom.
We'll be able to make complete restitution to every stockholder.
There's no dope. Like an honest dope.
You could have at least he had enough money to get us to South America.
Why you would?
Don't you fuck me,
Mike. It's as good as yours.
Keep it to yourself.
Ah Joy. You're wonderful. You made David realize how wrong he's been.
He apologized.
Ask him in order to make amends to you. I'll see to it that no charges are pressed.
Well, and that leaves me in the clear. I guess we can forget him in Iowa too.
I feel like a little lover.
Oh, Dagar.
My bet you smell beautiful. What is that perfume? Kiss of love. $25 an ounce.
Smell this.
Yeah, that's good. What is it? Ketchup? 10 cents a bottle.
Say I love you, Jill.
Huh?
Say I love you, Jill.
I love you Joe.
It ain't gonna work. We're both in love with the same guy.
I love you Joe. That's me, Dagmar.
I'm gonna give you a kiss. We need
that.
Oh, what a kiss.